viernes, 22 de mayo de 2020

We share the same Desteni. Self Forgiveness.

There is no future that I can call “Mine” without considering "Us” on it. Without the community, without what has brought us together, we are just a bunch of crazy people, speaking nonsense... that´s what the "Uncles and the Grandfathers" will tell us when we gathered around the Inipi - a Lakota word that means "Breath of Life"

"We are here together for a Vision, and the Vision has brought us Here" if we don´t SEE THAT, nothing can hold US together/To - Gather".

There is something that I "didn´t realized" in this 10 years with Desteni, and that´s I was sitting on my computer every single day, writing over and over again, "SEEing" the solutions "alone/ALL - ONE", BUT... I always tried to change the world “just by myself”... So, I was actually not even cLOSE to make the world “better for anyone”, I was just be trying to make it "better for myself"... for My vision, My Future... Mine, my - I....EYE... (Energy Y Energy)
                                                     "who´s on the CROSS ↑ ?"

When I get to change myself and I let go of all the old things that has brought me to be who I am, who I don’t like to be... the guilt, judgments, the blame, the anger, the lust, the greed... which are actually creating the current experience of ME, and each ONE individually and yet Together in this world. That´s why we have gathered in cities right? To be together...To be... To - Gather... accompanying each other in our Self Pity blaming the fucking system we are and we have created, because that´s why the Cities exist... to remind us we are here ONLY to make Money... No one likes to live in the cities for real... jajajajajaja... We are ONLY/lonely because of Money

Ok yes, we like the Gatherings, and the Places/Palaces, and the Buildings and the monuments to the EGO, of someone that "it´s not them... but it COULD be them... if they just TRY and be PARTicipants of it"... just like the pictures of Jesus that hang in the walls of the religious families, reminding us, each and every single day, from Father to Son, from Son to Father  ... that we will never be Him... that we will NEVER be like HIM... because he died for our SINS... and No ONE do that... We don´t help or support or assist each other... and just because An Other doesn´t do it for ME, why would I do it for Me? If it is the Responsibility of An Other, to come and fucking solve the Mess I have made of Me...?

And as long as my trust it’s on the Experience there is no way I can change for the better of ANY ONE, because I haven´t realized myself as part of the ONE... cause I am NO ONE... I don´t appreciate myself... and even when I try to “change myself” for the good/benefit of the world as oneness and Equality" I DON´T WANT to live in Com unity/COME UNITY... let´s COME AND UNITE... because... how am I going to do THAT WORLD THAT´S BEST FOR ALL if it’s not within and as a community?

My most closest/C-loses-t relationships, amazingly enough... were ALL- WAYS people that I admired and "followed/Fall-low" under the basis of my own SELF-disTRUST = trusting within my mind that They are going to BE THERE...  and that´s why I can see that, in projecting this "police state" within my mind to reject whatever VIEW/SEEING/VISION that I have perceived and felt "misaligned", with MINE... because my "personal interest" it´s SUPERIOR... I am walking for the Betterment of HUMANITY!!! I am GOOD, you are EVIL... because you don´t SEE how I SEE... so... I am actually hiding behind... My Vision/VICIOUS...

It´s said that one has to "recover twice" from whatever illness we experience in our life´s, physical or emotional. The first time we recover is with the help of the MEDICINE, and the second time, we have to RECOVER FROM THE MEDICINE. Meaning: We first allow ourselves to be helped/teached/showned what is going wrong with us, and then we do it ourselves without the help of the person who teach us that "new expression/ability/capacity" for and of ourselves.

We first are Slaves of the medicine = the system in which we had to trust and give ourselves into, because we were so afraid of our own minds, we were so scared of appreciating ourselves enough to see the gift of Life, now we have to proof to ourselves that we can let it go, and in this process accept the reality of our DARK nature. So that we do get to that point, where we are able to move together, and gather together as ONE and EQUALS


We will have to face the fact that we are that organic robot that was manipulated into becoming a perfect employee/slave dependent of the mercy of the father... and become EQUAL and One participants of LIFE

We will have to face the fact that we are the flesh we eat every morning, the air we breathe, the water we drink... we are the consequence of our OWN/OWE poison. And now it´s our SELF- RESPONSIBILITY to PURIFY ourselves by PURIFYING OUR WORDS, and our actions that will have to be transformed into a masterpiece, that will be the creation of ourselves. 


I suggest you to review the thesis of Marlen Vargas del Razo: "The artist as a social artwork: Oneness, Equality and Human Honesty"



In which she explains this intrinsic relationship between the artist and it´s creation as the result of "WHO WE ACCEPT AND ALLOW OURSELVES TO BE!"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be confused about the decision, where I am unwilling to look at what I am not willing to let go of, as controls that prevent me from becoming effective as contributor to a solution in this world, and that a decision will include the realization that my self-interest must be put aside till a new world system is in place, as I cannot serve 2 gods – I either serve Life as what is best for all Life, or I serve self-interest as what is best for me only. A decision must be made as who I am and accordingly it will show in what I do and how I do it, and that will serve as evidence for those that stand as the decision as Life, as to whom can be trusted to have made the decision and who not. Bernard Poolman


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that "without the things that has brought me to this point of my life, I would be nothing", and therefore I am not able to let them go because without them I would not be able to sustain and substantiate myself, not realizing that I have accepted the "diminishment of myself" by placing the "Authority and Directive principle in separatin of me", in not realizing that whatever I have learned ABOUT MYSELF from the "experiences, people, situations, circumstances", doesn´t get lost if I let them go, as they only served as the SHIP/SHEEP in my "temporarily dependence" of this things, to understand that - I am able to stand up within and as the Pillars that I have created within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to run away and run back to the people that I know, the places/palaces I know and where I feel "safe", because apparently that´s what has "MADE ME", not realizing that "I am making Me" on every moment, if I am self honest with myself or not, that´s also the decision I am making, and within that "I am making me". Nevertheless... if I stay always on the same places, do I make me or do I STOP me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to return to the "answers" I know, the easy ones, where I don´t have to question how I have being part of the abuse in this world in also going and participating in whatever thing that has kept the system running as it is; because if we have been here doing and repeating even the ancient traditions for centuries. Why is it that we haven´t achieved that world of "Perfection"? Is this world perfect? No, it isn´t, that was also part of the lie, the very order of the Heaven

"I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define someone controlling me as something bad and unacceptable due to my perception that I am free, that I need to stay free, and that anything that will limit my freedom has to be opposed with maximum force. I realize that each of us is already living within many physical, mental and spiritual limitations and that sense or state of freedom is relative and can be practically lived only with consideration of the outflow consequences of acts of every single individual in existence since we all share one existence and every action has its consequence. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “Every restriction enforced by others onto me is wrong and I will fight it and protect my current freedom!“ to stop and breathe. I then rather take time to see why the certain new limitation has been established, if it is for the long-term benefit of most living beings and to see how many freedoms I still have that allow me to move, create, express and to provide for my basic needs of survival.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the character of a victim due to all the physical, mental and spiritual limitations that I currently experience and that since I am not able to be aware of all the existence and control every detail of it I demand to be taken care of by someone who has more control since I am entitled to be so. I realize that while I am experiencing certain limitations I also have many options to overcome them and expand myself which would be a much better use of time and my potentials than not moving and staying in a state of self-pity. I commit myself when and as my mind is producing thoughts like: “You are so small, weak and insignificant so you have the right to be taken care of.” to stop and breathe. I then rather write down all my weaknesses and the options for becoming stronger in those areas and move effectively every single moment in order to become more able and respond to everything that I am facing in my life." - Valentin Rozmán

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have given permission to my constancy, consistency, my presence as Who I really am as Life, to be defined and limited accordingly to where I am, or with who I am, instead of realizing that the Standing and decision that I make of "Being part of this Life" "Becoming by Self- Will an active participant of Life, that´s going to work, cooperate and find my perfect symbiosis to become part of the bigger picture, which is not separated from me, as I am but a part of it, and by being part of it, I AM THAT, I AM

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is me at all times who has got to believe that I am not able to "do this", to "achieve this", to "stand by myself" without the help or support of others having my back at all times; directing me, telling me what to do, instead of taking the initiative of realizing that, I am the one who is Responsible for his own existence, as the recently born animals almost immediately "get into and understand" in the very need of standing in their "own feet", as most of parents in nature are not at all times able to simply carry of transport their children... within this

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize that in placing my trust and future in separation of me, dependent on the existence of another, dependent of me relying "My stand/Vision of the Future/ dependent or attached into any Picture of any person of any moment in any possible or impossible PALACE/PLACE - I am creating myself as a "separated being" as I am dividing myself "in another", "in two or more in my name" and the system is tHERE, waiting for "the solution" to come from another, for the moment to be created "by another", in which I will just be able to "jump into it" and "experience the BENEFITS only" instead of moving myself into actually participating in the process of creating the solution "TO-GATHER", to "HAVE FUNctionality - MOVE-MEnt", and "IN-JOY".... OUR - SELFS....TO - GATHER. But FROM withIN and AS ME, from the PILLar that´s Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to "follow" teachers/masters/lords/gangsters... instead of realizing MY Self as Life so that I don´t place myself in dependency or separation of myself waiting for someone to "give me direction instead of giving direction to myself"