martes, 12 de marzo de 2019

Mi jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1669, My perspective on Ayahuasca Final

There are sometimes in which I still feel the anxiety in my chest yearning for the "quick solution" to fill the emptiness, a solution that comes under the flag of "The end justifies the means", but in which "the end" is actually the justification to validate the reason why I would appeal to such means.

Fortunately... a life of addiction can be faced by and with a single moment of clarity, and unfortunately... such moment came along with an event that for me has definitely closed completely any other door than that which now I have committed myself to walk for the rest of my life.

The last time that I saw the shaman of the Ayahuasca ceremonies, I told him that I took the decision of not drinking Ayahuasca ever again, the reason simply being that I found a definition for the word "Clarity" (which is normally what everyone that goes to the ceremony appeal as being the reason why the drink/take the Ayahuasca) and I said:

"For me clarity means to be aware of what are my limitations and my potentials as well, and realizing and recognizing in self honesty the only way that exists to work through them which is not going to happen under the effects of any substance or any drug"

He replied to my words that: "Everybody needs something, and that I shouldn´t close myself to the chance of taking or drinking again",

But I replied to his words: "I can spend as much as 10 years of my life going to ceremonies of any kind and still find myself in the exact same point where I began",

He then said: "But change is something that comes with the exercise of will"
And I then said: "Yes, but is precisely by and with the exercise and living of my will that I recognize the path and I walk through it knowing that I don´t need and that I have never needed or required anything"

He then concluded stating: "I want to see how long you will last..."

I am the directive principle of my life, the clarity that I need, the direction that I give to myself and my life, and the power and willingness to do it, all of it exists within me... NO RELIGION, NO DRUG, NO SPIRITUALITY, NO SAVIOR, NO NOTHING IS ABLE TO SAVE US OR IS GOING TO DO THE WORK FOR US....

There is only one road for me, and fortunately, this one is the only one, from all the things and visions and spiritualities tested before, that it has remained through the test of time...