lunes, 12 de noviembre de 2018

Mi jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1129, Los regalos del conflicto

Hay ocasiones como el día de hoy, en el que me detengo a repasar algunos de los videos que hice hace algunos años o incluso hace tan sólo unos meses, cuando me encontraba en una posición económica más estable, e inicialmente me siento sorprendido por encontrarme con un ser humano con quien ya no puedo identificarme, puesto que veo una estabilidad y una seguridad que en este momento de mi vida parece apenas una lejana memoria de un grato momento en el que tenía la certeza de que recibiría mi cheque quincenal.

Es en esos momentos cuando surgen las comparaciones, cuando surge de igual modo esta suerte de depresión interna en forma de pensamientos que gritan internamente: "Ya no sirvo para esto, sólo he dado pasos hacia atrás, ya no estoy haciendo progresos, ya no estoy avanzando"; no voy a decir que es fácil conciliar dichas experiencias, ni que es fácil caminar a través de ellas, incluso con la aplicación de perdón a uno mismo; porque de pronto comienzo a tratar de definirme en una experiencia que simplemente se encontraba delimitada por condiciones que aparentemente me permitían dicha seguridad y dicha estabilidad.

Es curioso porque, en aquel momento no enfrentaba ni la mitad de retos o desafíos que encaro en este momento de mi vida, y ciertamente, aún cuando en este momento no estoy percibiendo un peso por mi trabajo (el cual en su gran mayoría estoy ejecutando de manera gratuita, para mantenerme ya de menos ocupado), la realidad es que me he encontrado mucho más activo, más enfocado y eficiente de lo que solía ser hace tan sólo un año, cuando trabajaba en aquellas editoriales, donde mi único trabajo consistía de sentarme frente a la computadora por un par de horas a realizar una rutina consistente de la elaboración de imágenes publicitarias.

Por supuesto no pierdo de vista el hecho de que, ante las facilidades que me permitía un salario que ingresaba de manera constante y consistente, contaba con la oportunidad de hacer un proceso de escritura e introspección, de contemplación y meditación que me permitía dicho sentido de seguridad y estabilidad, ya que el dinero genera de igual manera esta percepción de un futuro certero y sin conflictos, donde mi mayor y única preocupación consiste de mantener el flujo de producción andando. Pero esa tranquilidad que aparentemente se ha esfumado, ahora me suena a ilusión, y es bajo esa premisa que me siento agradecido por este conflicto, por esta inestabilidad y esta lucha que estoy llevando a cabo tanto dentro como fuera de mí

No entiendo exactamente de qué me estoy quejando, pues sigo contando con el apoyo de una gran cantidad de personas en mi entorno y cuento con muchas más facilidades de las que una gran mayoría de la población que se encuentran en condiciones de precariedad sin acceso a fuentes de apoyo tan constantes y loables como de las que yo me encuentro privilegiado 

No son pocas las ocasiones en las que suelo perder de vista los regalos que rodean mi vida, y tan pronto como la visión de los mismos vuelven a la percepción de lo que entonces se revela como mi cerrada visión, y un tanto más de aquel egoísmo que busca y persigue una experiencia positiva sin dar pie al cambio o al movimiento.

Continúo en los próximos blogs

viernes, 9 de noviembre de 2018

Mi jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1128, My problem with the Law of attraction...

There is so much that I would like to talk and debate with you around this subject, which is one towards I have quite a few resistances to believe in, because for a very long time I wished for so many things that I truly wanted and prayed for, and that never came to be.

Since I was a child I prayed so many times and for so many things that I wanted to become just a little bit more easy to get through, like the constant bullying that I faced at the school everyday, or that beautiful girl to whom I never had the courage to speak to

I asked and prayed for the courage to stop the abuse, and for braveness to speak to that girl, but my prayers and my wants never were listened. In exchange what I do generated within me, was an experience of conflict and hate towards everything and everyone, that even got to the point or the extent were I will project such experiences even to the ones who loved me and cared for me (maybe because in my cowardliness I expected to receive some kind of support from those who I perceived as strongest than me, or maybe because I disempowered myself to such an extent that I didn´t saw the possibility of finding such solution through and from me) that´s how hate works, because it´s never hate towards the person outside or the situation, the hate its always towards ourselves, as the hate that I had towards my schoolmates which only spoke about my own sense of impotence and disempowerment

 Please don´t misunderstand me, I do believe that it is important to focus on the goals that we so much desire to be able to move ourselves in the direction that will allow us to get there, or to the people that will allow us to achieve that which we so much desire, but those things can´t and will never come by only wishing and desiring them. If we want the shit done, we have to fucking move and do it ourselves...

If you haven't watched this awesome interviews and perspectives made by JP Sears, I suggest you to do so, because this comedian/psychologist/youtuber, has quite a pretty nice way of speaking about the delusion that is the law of attraction and how easily we convince ourselves that it´s apparently justifiable to participate and go into this ideas, when all the while it´s only us trying to avoid some of the shitty truth about ourselves... enjoy LOL









Mi jornada hacia la vida, Día 1127, Who Would Want to be Normal?



From a very long time in my life, I have always tried to imitate and copy the attitudes, character and behaviors of the people around me in my world, specially from those who I regarded as strong personalities who received like almost all the attention from the rest of the group. And it´s somehow funny now to find out how much I used to believe that, when I apparently looked similar to such people in my world, I would now be able to live that confidence and trust in myself, but a trust defined in this idea that I would be accepted and recognized by such people, only because I wanted to have and experience the kind of situations and relationships that I would see that they were having...

Nevertheless, interestingly enough, it didn´t matter how much I managed to copycat such behaviors and personalities, I would never actually feel any more confident within myself that I was before, because within me now I would experience the anxiety and worry of having to always maintain present and align myself into the "right behavior, right words, right attitude" necessary to be accepted and recognized by other. And its also interesting that actually, I always "failed" into try to imitate and copy such behavior and personalities, because within me, I would always stumble on such expressions and ideas, because within me I actually wasn´t able to like "really feel authentic", it was more like this inner knowing that "I am actually not this that I am trying to express, I am not able to believe on this nonsensical bullshit", because I mean that´s what it is, just useless bullshit that I was speaking about, and within that I actually created my own condition of being constantly rejected by the entire group, because I was like that nerdy guy who was always trying and pretending to be "cool", without ever always reaching it; and it is in such moments that I look back when I wonder "what could have I reached if I only allowed myself to be and remain truth to myself?"

When I got to Desteni, the first point to walk was the relationship with my family, because as soon as I began to change many of my usual behavior, what I would suddenly find is that they literally got liked shocked of finding out that I was not the person that they always believed myself to be; that of course brought also a lot of conflict because, they did wanted me to remain exactly the same as they knew me in the past, because I mean, if you already have managed to define your routine and relationships within and towards your most direct/immediate circle of relationships, you don´t want them to be changing all of a sudden, specially when you have managed to accommodate and define your entire character, personality and comfort zone within your life... or at least that´s what it seemed to be when the conflicts began in the house.

With the going and passing of time, I began to notice that, I do began to lose a lot of relationships and many of the people around me would not even dare to stand in my presence for a very long time, I was the crazy weird bastard who was speaking about an interdimensional portal and living oneness and equality lol, and just a very reduce group of people would want to be around me, but not even like all the time, just every now and then. And yes, in the beginning it was very lonely to remain in such a position for extended periods of time, but it also happened that I would also not be able to tolerate the "Normal" conversations and reunions in which my family and friends wanted me to participate in, and I would actually find that I felt more comfortable just being with myself than going out and searching for that experience of making relationships.

I am not going to deny that I had a lot of vicious cycles and patterns of projecting knowledge and information about the process and, you know, like always creating this sort of criticizing personality towards everything and everyone in my world, but even within all of that, with such vicious cycles and patterns, there was definitely something that was coming up within me that I couldn´t have ever lived or expressed if it wasn´t for this process in itself, and that was the very expression of being able to stand up in such principles, in such position, without giving a fuck if someone cared about what I was speaking or even if they called me mad or crazy or whatever (which actually happened quite frequently lol, and that allowed me to accept and embrace the very fact that I knew that I would be rejected and ostracized most of the time, if not every time LOL), and therefore I began to accept that I was alone and that I only had myself to walk through this; obviously I wasn´t able to like just maintain such a condition because this world system demands like more interactions so to speak and demands the very ability and capacity of forming relationships to get a job and so on and so forth..., but if there is anything that I am grateful for, is that gift that I gave to myself of knowing I can stand here no matter what...

Of course many, many, many things have being adjusted and balanced so to speak, and I actually interact quite frequently with a lot of people, but now in a different starting point; there is a lot that I still have to preserve only for myself and that I am only able to talk and speak about with a very little group of people, but it´s always a relief to know that I can still be and preserve that weirdo for myself whenever I need to introspect and trust in nothing and no one else but myself. 

Thanks Desteni

jueves, 8 de noviembre de 2018

Mi jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1126, Divinity is not great... its oneness and equality


After listening to this interview made by Mooji, something came up, a reaction within me towards his words in the moment he says: "This world is a divine dream", but how can this world be a "divine dream for those who are not able to walk an spiritual journey"? How can the people who has little to none of the opportunities to explore themselves be or have any chance to give up into the resistance of walking day by day a life where they have to literally fight for their survival?

This world is not a dream, its actually quite real, and its a reality that many have to endure day by day.

The next interview, made by Andrea Rossouw, explains a little bit better what I am trying to point out here. And please, don´t misunderstand me, I do see a couple of points of support in the words of Mooji in relation to the experiences of resistance, this is not an "attack", its just a call for attention and awareness into our consciousness that has been filled with self interest...


lunes, 5 de noviembre de 2018

Mi jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1125, Más sobre aprendiendo a amar de manera incondicional


El día de hoy acabo de ver por primera vez uno de los videos de Mooji; me parece que anteriormente ya había escuchado hablar de él, sin embargo jamás me detuve a ver uno de sus videos hasta el día de hoy, en el que una amiga me mostró este video. Hace algunas semanas que comencé a enfrentar este punto dentro de la dimensión de "aprender a amar de manera real e incondicional", y aunque no he compartido mucho por aquí, ni me he detenido a hacer videos, lo que sí he hecho es darme a la tarea de trabajar en mi perdón a uno mismo, así como escuchando la serie de entrevistas de "Relationship Success Support o Apoyo para Relaciones Exitosas", en las cuales en realidad se explica de igual manera el cómo podemos llegar a generar un sentido de apego por alguien; aunque a un detalle de cómo funcionan estos mismos principios y mecanismos dentro de la mente, de manera aún más especifica. 

No me malinterpreten, en realidad les recomiendo de igual manera a todos detenerse a ver uno de los videos de Mooji, puesto que en realidad me ha ayudado a aterrizar con una gran simpleza el trabajo que me he encontrado realizando durante las últimas semanas, o en otras palabras, a entender de manera concreta y simple el proceso que he estado realizando en mi aplicación de perdón a uno mismo, así como de la aplicación práctica sobre el trabajo del manejo de la energía sexual; si de igual manera se encuentran caminando un punto similar en la dimensión de los apegos con respecto a las relaciones o un proceso de perdón a uno mismo con respecto a una relación, les recomiendo ampliamente detenerse a ver uno de estos videos aplicando la honestidad con uno mismo, el sentido común práctico, desde luego la aplicación del perdón a uno mismo y lo más importante, la aplicación correctiva del proceso