jueves, 14 de septiembre de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1034, It is too late to forgive myself


Continuing with the blog that I wrote yesterday "The Impossible task and  Day 1032", I gave myself the opportunity to confront one of my friends with who I had a discussion where he said to me: "I feel disgusted from you"

I asked him: "why do you feel that way towards me?" And what he answered, actually showed me a very important part that I don´t usually tend to look at whenever "I react towards something or someone" - he said: "Man, you know that I tend to be very cynical, more for fun than for the apparent pretension of actually hurting someone, but in my radical "Honesty" I end up actually saying a lot of things that are not meant to be made personal, and I must tell you that you tend to take things very personally..."

He actually left me thinking for a while, and I looked again at the entire situation, the moment in which he said it - we were eating a piece of bread and a little piece of like a candy that I just love to eat, felt from the bread into the table, in the area where there was no plate and I took it with my fingers and I just ate it; one of our friends tends to look a lot into the manners of other people, cause he actually was educated in a way were, things like that are not supposed to be done; my other friend (who made the comment) knew that, and he used the opportunity to make a joke... that´s it... there was nothing to take personally there, but things like that, comments like that, are part of the things that used to become very much part of my own perception that I created in my mind of what apparently the people think of me, and that from my childhood, where I will hear comments every now and then whenever I made I mistake on something or whenever I did or say something that was not supposed to be done (of course from the educational backgrounds of my schoolmates), and there is always a person searching for an opportunity to make a joke, you know, that´s why I also created a very personal... hate, towards the people who try to make fun out of the people around them.

But I mean... it it really that serious? Should life be taken that seriously? That´s something that I definitely have to change... and yes, I definitely have to also look into my mannerism to prevent things like that...

Thanks for reading