miércoles, 13 de septiembre de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1032, Creating Agreements in your Relationship

By the moment I am not in a relationship, nevertheless, I can very much relate with this point; as I have shared before, I have been working with the pattern of "avoiding conflict", and what I can notice is that I have had this tendency to "agree with everything that is said or done" by the people around me to be able to avoid any discussion or further conflict that may come through; nevertheless of course this ends up creating more and more conflict within me, because obviously I end up making compromises or commitments that take a lot of my time and effort, leaving me with very little space for myself in other aspects of my personal life.

At the same time, I must say, I also found a great gift in always agreeing with other people, spite the fact that "I wasn´t able to find my self interests satisfied" or "I wasn´t able to see MY PART on the deal", and that was that, I began to get more and more involved with the people and their lifes, to understand the conflicts that they go through and within that I internalized very much of them to also see myself and see how much havoc and tantrum one can do for so little, in a way of saying it...

I very recently listened to this interview on EQAFE titled:

Self Love and Self Care - Atlanteans - Part 477

After listening to this interview (which I of course suggest you to also give it a try), I notice that the balance of both points has to start from myself, and that´s why I want to write a little bit of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to try to avoid conflicts with the people by agreeing with everything and everyone around me, instead of finding the way to bringing out my points of view in a way where we all are able to find solutions and balances that satisfy to all the parts involved.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always agree with the people around me just to not get in conflict with them, which then lead me to try to recluse myself as much as I was able to from the people around me, just to not have to face my fear of taking a stand and actually speaking for myself, and speaking the points in which I simply do not agree, because apparently, by getting away from the people like that I could have in mind that "they are there and will be there as long as I don´t get in conflicts with them"

I forgive myself that I didn´t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I don´t speak and express whatever point I disagree with, I only create more conflict and havoc between me and the people around me, which then leads me to the point of trying to recluse myself from the people just to not keep feeling like that.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accumulate backchat within my mind towards the people in my world, instead of speaking up the points that I disagree with and within that, finding the way of expressing them to be able to manage any conflict that may emerge in the moment.

I commit myself to instead of creating conflicts within discussions, find the best way/words/communication to bring up the points in which I disagree with, to be able to come together to a solution that satisfy both parts

I commit myself to always find the way to deal with whatever conflict that may emerge in the best possible way, without creating any emotional or feeling experience towards it, so that I am able to always speak calmly without loosing the perspective, so that I am able to find it´s solution to the best possible conclusion