martes, 25 de julio de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1016, Attraction pt2

Continuing with the blog that I wrote on the day 1014.

In the last blog I took a look at the word "Talent", today I would like to have a look at the word "Intelligence" and how I have created my relationship towards it in relation to the point of attraction.

When this experience of attraction emerged towards my partner, one of the things that got me very attracted towards her, was that "appreciation and appreciation" of the ideas that I would present to her in several moments, to which I could notice that she would react in like an expectant way for hearing more about what I was saying. And basically, she would say things like "Oh, you are very smart, I like your way of telling and saying things". Within that, I can also see this relation to the desire of feeling accepted and appreciated.

I can notice that I would actually become very much attracted by the idea of being able to speak with her about several subjects, but actually, and as I am writting this, I can also see that it would be, very much in part due to my desire of wanting to receive that "appreciation" by being called "smart or intelligent" and things like that , lol. And I must admit that, we had several conversations in which she would not agree with me and she would bring her point of view, but whenever she did that I would actually go into a polarity experience where I would get angry, spite that I would never tell to her about it or didn´t even argue around her point, what I would do, is that I would actually push myself to reconsider my whole vision and starting point with regards to that particular subject, just to get aligned with her and within that, be able to remain with her as much as possible, because I wanted to keep that point where I was getting my acceptance and positive experience around myself.

Very recently, I had a session of Kinesiology and this session actually help me to bring quite a lot of the mind pattern that I created in relation to this girl, and why it has been so difficult for me to be able to move on and through this relationship towards this girl.

This is part of the feedback that I received in the session:

"ok so what tested out for you to have a look at is how you have a personality of being very 'moralistic, specific morals tested out as being for instance: No boasting, Treat others as you would want to be treated, Be forgiving, No cheating (in general), Be dependable, Respect others. So within this personality, you tend to go into a 'character' (which is like a momentary personality expression based on an experience) of feeling 'disgusted, sarcastic and critical' whenever you see people whom you perceive are not living according to those morals and here specifically a co-worker is testing out as someone you might be experiencing this in relation to more recently. So when you're dealing with morals in the mind, it's actually based on a fear."

Therefore, what I can see within this, is that within my "fear of conflict" towards this girl, I was actually trying to protect my self interest of being able to maintain that point of "love and acceptance" within myself that I was getting from her words...

I would continue with more in the next post. Thanks for reading.