viernes, 21 de julio de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 1014, Attraction.

As I was listening to this interview, I began to bring the exercise into the particular pattern that I have been following in relation to the kind of "partners" that I have been looking at, and I noticed several points like: talent, intelligence, fun, beauty, softness, strength.

Then, as the exercise propose, what I am going to do now is to look at how is it that I am living this words within myself to be able to identify and possibly remove whatever energetic movement exists within myself.

In relation to the word "talent", I can notice that I always tend to look out for the approval of the people around me whenever I draw, write or do anything that I regard as "artistic", and when I meet this girl that I have been dating for a while, for me it was like very important that moment in which she looked at my work and said "wow, you are very talented", but for me, whenever I am writing or drawing or anything like that, it feels as if I were not able to totally appreciate what I do, which I have always believed that is part of "the process of the artist" (or something like that, lol), but only with this word I can already notice this principle that it´s mentioned in the video of Supplementarity, in which I have tried to find a partner that likes "feel the acceptance for my work that I am not able to feel" LOL!! Just as I am writing this, something has come to the eye, which is something that is constantly repeated all around this process, like whenever one says "When you are looking for this, or that in this person, you are actually looking for yourself, or you are looking at your self", which is actually something that I must admit that I didn´t quite grasped until this moment, because every time I heard a person say "You must first accept you to be able to walk with another", what I would consider is that I had to like "accept my failures, limitations, and so on" and be comfortable with them, lol, which is actually something quite deceptive, because it´s like not having to keep working on myself to actually improve myself.

And whenever it came to that point of really trying to get close to someone, what I was also told to do is that I should only "show the best of me", but I will not dare to bring up those "negative points" because I was too afraid of then not "being enough" for the person, who will end up "not accepting me" lol, then what I concluded is that I have to look for someone who is able to like "feel that acceptance in my place, or feel the acceptance that I wasn´t able to feel by myself, or feel accepted by me, LOL!!!!"

I will continue in the next post