miércoles, 3 de mayo de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 990, When everything is too much...


After listening to this interview made by Sunette Spies some weeks ago, it came into my mind that there were aspects about any relationship that I should take as flags to, you know, create for myself an indication that there was something moving within me that I should definitely work with, cause in spite that it looks so little in the beginning, it can turn so big overtime that when everything becomes so much and one doesn´t know how to deal with it or how to communicate it, it´s like the mind begins to create this fear of loss that actually one knows where to find it, but at the same time, due to the fact that one doesn´t want to recognize and realize that one has allowed such point to exist within oneself, it´s like one also doesn´t allows oneself to be self honest with oneself.

A couple of days ago, a person who I appreciate, told me that I had a very "heavy energy", and then mentioned that I used to argue and create debates and discussions around anything and everything which usually took us to several points of conflict or... I mean seemingly "conflicts" from my perspective, maybe attributed to the fact that for me to get into such discussions and debates is so "normal" you know? It is part of the very dynamic to try and bring as much points and perspectives as we are able to actually move to find a solution,  and within that it got to such an extent that this told me that this has been so, since the very day that we met!!!

I mean... of course it was inevitable to get to such a point of conflict in that particular moment, because it was something that this person hold within and internalized it to such an extent that it became so overwhelming, so hard, so "HEAVY", that it is not that "I had a heavy energy" as this person claimed, but it was because this heaviness was being created by this person and was seeded and feed in such a way that this person didn´t knew or find the way to communicate it anymore, there was no way out to speak up and share it without fearing to harm the other with our words and within that to lose the relationship.

I cannot imagine how difficult it should have been for this person to carry with such weight for a year without finding a way to communicate it. Spite of the fact that our definition of destiny comes along with the idea that the very life we are living it´s something "happening to us", as if it was already preordained, preprogrammed, predesigned, in all the possible variants and ways that one is able to imagine, the reality is that even if we state that "everything happens for a reason", maybe it should also came to our minds the fact that WE are the very REASON why things are created or destroyed and more often than not, whatever you create for yourself maybe, possibly might save you, and whatever you don´t create will possibly destroy you...