miércoles, 22 de marzo de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 985, Facing the BreakUp

I was recently watching this video from the "School of Life" and it really moved me in terms of actually seeing a direct reflection of something I didn´t developed with my ex-partner, which in a way we did in the beginning, but the more and more I was afraid of losing her (because of several health problems that she would experience), the more and more I did had to lose her completely so that I was able to see, that I wasn´t doing any good to her, and I actually ended up internalizing and generating a big mess within me, because I would end up becoming very emotional to try and find a way to make her "feel happy" and "make her happy", but not realizing how selfish I was for not seeing how I was trying to make of myself the point itself of that happiness, or in other words making her happy or experience happiness through me, instead of supporting her to stand and create whatever it is that she wanted to create for herself in her life, you know, just being that support, that standing rock in my own principles.

At the end, I had to realize that my starting point was that of trying to "save her", "save others" which is a pattern that I have been repeating over and over whenever I meet someone who have more than enough troubles in their life, and I mean, of course it´s cool to get involved and trying to assist in bringing solutions, but... man, don´t fall in love with other people problems and issues... because thats exactly what I did, and you know what? The only thing that one ends up creating its a whole emotional turmoil, because one ends up believing that the other person "is her/his problems" and instead of actually realizing that this person is not what one is seeing of them, one only tries to make them smile and be happy just to "keep them alive", instead of actually doing what you would like to be done unto you in moments were everything seems difficult or seems like it is just "too much"; I actually would have liked someone that spoke to me very stable, supporting me in seeing solutions instead of trying to create and generate the same pattern that I have experienced within most of my relationships, which is "trying to please the other" by never questioning them about certain attitudes, words, ideas that they would express that I could see that were deliberately harming them or were not expressing the best of themselves. 

I suggest you to also watch the following video... it gives a very full perspective of how to deal with one´s own "mistakes", and how to walk through them, which is part of what I am currently doing in my day to day living, to not just go again into the whole experience of "being worried and preoccupied for the other", because it doesn´t makes any good at all for them and NO, you are not showing your support and care by simply being preoccupied by the person you love.

Thanks for reading. enjoy.