lunes, 16 de enero de 2017

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 964, Principle over preference

Have you ever had one of those moments in which you look back at your life and you just simply cannot be "OK" with what you have created and "apparently" decided throughout your life? I have had them, and such moments come with an interesting question that one should make to oneself: 

If you were about to die, would you still give the same importance to the things that are (maybe currently) making you feel sad, happy, angry, calmed, jealous, confused or whatever it is that you may experience? 

I am not saying that all of the decisions that one has made in one´s life pertain to the order of "appearances"; nevertheless, I exhort you to really see and ask yourself: How much of what you have ever felt or thought throughout your life, has really being your decision to think or experience, to the extent that, if not all of them, certainly most of the decisions that one has made throughout one´s life have been made over the basis of such thoughts, feelings and emotions...? 

If you allow yourself to have a very deep and honest look within you, and all of the things that make you feel sad, special, emotional, being loved, being appreciated, does any of that has any transcendence? Does any of that has any relevance once that you are closed to your final breath? And within that ask yourself: "How would you like to live your life?" It is interesting that there is a need, a yearning for making some sort of mark, of contribution that can stand the test of time whenever we look back to our life´s, just to be able to be proud of who we are, so that whenever we look back we don´t have any regret of what we have lived and created for ourselves and others.

It´s interesting to see how easily we fall for an emotional experience and "decide" to remain within it, because it´s apparently more "easy", or at least it "feels more easy", because it´s already here, already done, you are already experiencing it and you just have to "flow with it" and remain in such experiences, because you know, to even question such thoughts, feelings and emotions, already feels like "a burden", like it requires a little bit of your effort to actually create something new out of whatever it is that is moving us in such moments and let´s not even mention the fact of really making the necessary movements, actions, creations to move out of such experiences to create something different. But, are you proud of who you are within such experiences? Is this the result of your creation? Can you leave this behind and have no regrets?

I don´t know about you, but sometimes this life feels like "too in place"... you know, as if you just have to come to this world to live and experience and go with the experiences that you are supposed to experience because that´s how things are... nevertheless, we know that is not like that, specially if you watch at the lives of the people who cannot take the "luxury" of feeling depress, sad, angry, because they have to keep working to feed their families... I mean, it is really a luxury if you think about it, because it implies that one can take a lot of time to just remain in such "contemplation of one´s own personal bullshit".

Where do I want to get with this? We currently live in a world where everything becomes about commodity, about one´s own personal preferences, opinions, ideas, beliefs... you know? We live in a world where we no longer care about the truth, freedom or even our own personal rights and duties with our own specie and the world in general, and whenever I have tried to speak about these matters with other people, it seems like there is a "general speech" that everyone has learned and copy to "get away with it" and just remain in their personal, ordinary lifes: "Whatever I do only affects me, whatever I say it´s my opinion, you can have your and I have mine, it doesn´t matter what I choose to belief (and I am not necessarily taking religious contexts here) it only affects or concerns me". 

And it even becomes more paradoxical when you try to understand the "deeper dimensions" of it all and you get an answer like: "This is how things are and there is nothing we can do about it to actually change it"... I mean, for an instance I thought that we were claiming "free will and free choice" to say, think, feel, believe or do whatever we want, but all of a sudden... "we don´t have a choice" over whatever it is that we think, feel or do in our personal immediate world? 

If you haven´t heard the interview Day 1252: The Choice in Energy written in the Activist Journey to Life, I suggest you to do so, because the question actually is, and it is a self honest point: "You can´t change whatever it is that you are feeling or thinking or You don´t WANT TO CHANGE whatever it is that you are feeling and thinking because it is apparently more convenient to you?". I mean come on, it is not more convenient in any way to remain within such experiences, because if you look self honestly within them, you will see that there is other things that we want to get or veil through such experiences, like when we want to feel "loved" so that we can feel special and accepted and recognized and whatever... or when we feel angry because others didn´t supported our opinions in a discussion, when actually we just want to remain in such ideas/opinions/beliefs because it somehow allows us to criticize and externalize responsibility to other people.

There is always a choice indeed, but how do you know that your choice is "correct", that it is going to bring you exactly what you need or require in your life? Only be certain that whatever you choose, it is something that you would actually want for everyone, not only your beloved ones, I mean everyone, whatever their opinions, ideas, belief´s, thoughts, feelings or emotions might be. Would you accept anything less than the best possible outcome for everyone? And if you don´t, what is it that you are trying to hold onto? What is it that doesn´t allow you to give as you would like to receive? Would you self honestly think that if you were born in a family without money, good quality food, good quality water, basic services to have all your needs covered you would not deserve something better or that you would not want to be supported by your community, your government, your country?

Who would you like to be? Don´t just imagine it and create an experience about it, if you were to really, self honestly create something for you and others in this lifetime, what would it be? what would it take you to do? and what does it demands you to do and in any case, giving in and give up within you that is stopping you from reaching your utmost potential?