What is behind the phenomenon of young girls and women looking for rich older men to create relationships with? With the creation of sugar daddy match making sites, what drives people to use these methods to seek out these specific relationship arrangements? How does physical appearance and the concept of beauty contribute to this phenomenon?
"Jaime: These young women are not anyone’s slaves. They are autonomous, sexually liberated women. Many of them come from elite universities. They are smart people making a calculation about what their time and their attentions are worth. Isn’t that what everyone does when they “sell out” and turn their labor—their intelligence, their special skills, their charming personalities, their diligence, their emotions, their time, their ambitions—all for someone else’s projects? That’s what having a job is. It is not always fun.
Jaime: And why not?! What makes it so holy that it can never be something done for anything but the highest and most personal self-satisfaction and self-realization? We live in an age of birth control, condoms, and demystification of “sacred” things. Why is sex still being put into this realm of things which cannot be commodified without destroying the dignity of the sex worker? Why do we think that when it comes to sex putting your talents to use in order to gain money somehow exploits and degrades people whereas all sorts of other places where we subordinate our personalities and talents to earning a buck are perfectly fine?
Kelly: This is not about these girls exercising their talents for a profit, it’s about reducing them to toys and about turning a deeply intimate, self-expressive act like sex into something where their personalities do not matter. For these girls, in this kind of sex, their desires are basically irrelevant and their real feelings are excluded in favor of patronizing pathetic perverts with whatever niceties they want to hear. This turns an activity which should be the height of authenticity into something cynical and alienating."
"There is definitely the undertone. Sex is the elephant in the room. You’re dancing around until the moment you can’t dance anymore, and you have to address it. I didn’t find many guys not looking for sex. Then again, I got one 60-year-old guy who messaged me and was adamant about meeting up. He was quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson and that’s what drew him to my profile immediately. I expressed that I am passionate about being a writer. You could tell he was very intelligent. Truthfully, he just seemed like a lonely man that wanted companionship—a man who wanted fun and intellectual conversation. Aside from him, sex is pretty much a given."