The outstanding antlers of the creature were paramount to the crowns of the greater kings even though inside his eyes showed the sweetest innocence. This was fixed and deep, like if inside those big eyes revealed the most intimate and profound secrets of the soul.
The darkness was so dense that every step he took in it, he felt the cold caress of a winter wind and suddenly he found himself immersed in the middle of a glacial ocean, each step that he took, seemed like thousands of needles lacerating his muscles, hindering their movements and even vanquishing his will. If that was not enough, as he walked with his naked feet across the troubled ground, he could feel the stones opening the soles of his feet and his ankles, which teetered awkwardly due to the immense pain while he tryed to maintain the absurd memory of what he once knew as balance in the middle of the midst of such dense darkness. Uncertainty gripped him... How many years he had wandered in the darkness? When was the last time he took a clever step in the midst of that murky?
The idea washed over him, the reality that actually both the flame and he were in the midst of blackness. A place where the fire was no longer an inert element as he had conceived most of his life. No, this was something else, something subject of body and presence whose form remained diffuse but full at the same time. His light shine could barely beyond its boundary to that deep squalor, but remained constant at the brutality and ruthlessness of the shadows that seemed to try to consume it. Now I was watching the fire, a being with free will. The hunter was sure of it...
Also he began to notice that with each step he took toward the fire, his muscles became loose from the needles formed inside them by the freezing darkness. The heat which was released by the fire, could no longer be explained by the logic that turns cold into cold and heat into heat. His mind was no longer adequate, his body was being released and that feeling was describing something so abstract that he could not articulate it in words.
He sat for a moment in front of it, staring to the inside, feeling their presence across the abyss that divided them: "the clearance between both of our bodies" he said to himself; his own warmth was unfamiliar, more unique in his presence than anything he had ever experienced and yet a part of it was towards him across the gap between them, something was happening to him through the space between them, something was breaking the cold logic of his consciousness, in the same way that fire crossed the abysmal cold of darkness.
Some whispers had emerged from his mouth, murmuring as in a respectful rite of communion with himself:
"It is said that objects never really touch in space, because the molecules never touch each other. There is always a certain distance between each other. The atoms do not touch each other, because if they did, it will cause a reaction known as nuclear fission and they would explode in such a rapid and dramatic way to even be able to accommodate ever the presence of any form of life ... indeed, it seems everything requires certain individuality, some kind of independence, but the truth is that nothing would be consolidated or would manifest itself without the union and closeness that these molecules have with each other.
When you cut the wood what is it that really divides the molecules of it? As the ax strikes the wood and it separates, what divides it? Is it the edge of the ax, or the heat generated by the friction of impact? What is the heat between molecules?
Ironically, as matter is transformed into a caress of fire, lovers also transform each other with each of their petting, but we don’t call those caresses a simple "particle acceleration", acceleration supposedly reconstitutes the stout of wood against the wind and the heat of the fire...
Something in those lovers also vilifies as the fire consumes them... suddenly they manipulate each other, they use the heat of the other as a way to blackmail, deceive and manipulate them. Promises turn into ice cold spears and swords, used against each other, as if with that, they could snag the other and make him or her depend on the other ones presence... but who is really depending on whom? Who tries to ensure the permanence of the other into the world of the befitting? It's like if both battle to get the other one´s fuel to continue consuming each other until the fire becomes unmanageable and at last consumes both.
Fire can create and hand life, as the mother who protects the brood inside her, where it can obtain food, and especially the heat needed for survival or that which constitutes a kind of external womb, a solid but delicate expression to temporarily hold that life which is still waiting to be born. While the mother seeks in the earth the warmth she can’t provide and that the egg can’t generate by itself, where only a few centimeters from the surface there’s enough heat to shelter the broods, so they can receive the embrace of another mother, the embrace of the earth itself…
Not any life form can exist without the presence of sufficient heat, without the inner fire, but any form of life can be consumed quickly if it loses its balance and stability for any reason, when the small flame becomes an uncontrollable fire that consumes everything, in the same way our mind can be consumed by madness if we do not master our thoughts and our feelings.
What is the fire in you? What is the fire really? What is this heat inside me that recognizes and embraces his brother? What is this heat in my body which becomes more evident in the moments that I embrace another body? "
His own murmur wrapped the whole scene, in that silence even the slightest sound resonated as an echoed that reverberated all around, but suddenly, when that murmur came back, expressed something different than what he had said:
- What would become obvious to you but your own ignorance to the order of existence itself? You do not know how to see things as they are, because only see things from your limited perspective, you try to see things just as you think you are.
The dim light of the flame drew some shadows in the midst of the squalor and despite the weakness of that glow flash that lit subtly its surroundings. It was enough for him to analyze the face of the infant - his black hair, round cheeks, her delicate lips and slim body; It remained near him, watching and contemplating his traits, wondering about his mother and father.
"Perhaps they are concerned" he said to himself, and if he found them how would he explain to them what had occurred? How to alleviate the pain of his parents by simply justifying the awkwardness of his actions? And what would be their reaction at the light of such terrible news?
He watched the boy's face carefully trying to guess the interior of his memories, the things that would have made him laugh and mourn, the experiences he had lived, the roads he traveled, the friends he made and who perhaps would now miss him.
The intensity of the fire was growing with the passing of time and it´s glow began to push back the darkness around him, after a few minutes the young hunter found himself very quiet, just looking at the fire, until the snap of the sparks suddenly caught his attention, focusing his gaze onto these, where his eyes met directly with the look of a mysterious being, harbored in the darkness across the fire. Two tiny orange sparks subtly delineated through the fire, hiding the piercing gaze of a ferocious animal; an immense shadow began to emerge from the flames and a sharp smile between the snout and the pointed ears of the beast, holding the eyes of a ruthless and merciless judge whose gaze seemed to penetrate on the very beingness of the young hunter, divining all their movements and foreseeing its inevitable end; it´s robust body, supported between thin but muscular legs, hold it´s steps even in the midst of the darkness which were as firm as his denoted willingness to kill, imbuing the hunter in the feeling of being cornered and destined to be merely the appetizer of the beast ...
- Who are you and what brings you here stranger? (He asked the ferocious animal)
The man prepared bow and arrow, getting ready to defend his own life and the infant at his feet.
- I come to claim the food that you have despised
- There's nothing for you here, you'll have to look elsewhere!
- You defend a being who has ceased its breath in a world reserved for the living, there’s no place for him here human. I recommend that as you have killed this being in his presence on the Earth, finish with what remains of it inside your consciousness
- It´s not food what you see here wolf, but the body of my fallen brother!
The wolf ´s gesture changed dramatically stalking surprise and a vein of strangeness could be appreciated in his eyes, which were wandering on the man's face because. It was curious about the meaning of the words that the hunter had just pronounced. It took a few seconds to spot the fissure in the man's head, still bleeding from the incident and then asked the hunter:
- Human, How did you inflict that wound to yourself?
- I was hunting in the forest when I spotted a deer which I was trying to knock down, suddenly I slipped from the tree in which I was hidden and slammed my head against the roots of the trunk and the lost arrow reached the one who now lies at my feet.
- I see… human, I see a lot of confusion and fear in your eyes and I dread telling you that you're lost. Currently there’s nothing more inside you but doubt and fear.
- I am not lost. This fire here has shown me the way. You are the one who does deserve the company of this place!
- Young is your race amongst those who have preceded him, you demand respect still in a world to which you have just arrived
- How dare you pretend to know what moves inside me? Tell me, can you see the pain and guilt that lies within me?
- It's not me who has wandered in the darkness for so many years... I´m afraid to tell you my friend that you have been away from the light for more lives than you could glimpse; You may have found the flame before, but actually it was you who always chose to remain aloof, otherwise it would have still emerged even in the middle of the densest darkness, in the same way that your presence has fed it and allowed it to emerge, that´s why actually yours has been rather an absence that hasn´t done anything but to highlight the ignorance in which you have lived ... honestly speaking, a good hunter does not waver or miss the opportunity of a sure prey.
Why have you deliberately slipped, depriving yourself from the food provided to you despite the hunger that afflicts you?
- I found the presence of that deer sublime, his eyes met mine for a moment and when I saw them, I saw myself; I decided to resist one more day of hunger to find another prey.
- And don´t you think you would have found in other beings the same telltale look of your own nature? Why do you hide in the darkness of your unconsciousness, ignoring the reflection of your brothers?
- Severe words for a murderer…
- Life and death are not separated my friend, both are part of oneself, some things end and others begin, one breathes bringing to oneself the manifestation of life in and exhales in the same way that one gives the last breath that marks the end of our life, life and death are present in every breath; you open your eyes each morning in the same way you saw the light of this world and you close them every night as you close your eyes to the light of life. And yet, the irony is that the light begins within the chaos, cause in spite that we try to recognize and interpret the world through the light, it is in the shadows where the materiality of life it´s configured... chaos and order, life and death…
Sometimes, I have been forced to eat the same meat that has traveled and hunted with me, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, my own family, but that doesn´t mean that I don´t see my brothers in the flesh that feds me, as they fed me with the words that they spoke throughout their life´s, nurturing my very beingness; it is the same meat that sustains me in this world and one day will be and become the food for other beings who are also my brothers...
- How is it that you can remain so indifferent to the loss of your loved ones?
- Your own individuality has blinded you, you ignore the relationships that connects you to all beings in existence, as the tiny ant that feeds on the bodies of the greatest beings, or the worm on the earth that nourishes the floor and still feeds on the remains that fails to consume the ant, nothing is wasted in this world, even the smallest part of your existence… and you will be part of it, even when your presence no longer walks on this earth; however, you don´t realize that when you turn away to those that surround you, you also are turning your back to yourself for the sake of a mistaken perception of independence and freedom... your eyes have become accustomed to seeing through wrong and misleading ideas and now a deep blindness is clouding your consciousness.
- I've never turned my view away from the truth, neither from the world in front of me, I am ME, and the prey that I hunt is not me! Do not believe that you can deceive me with your absurd contemplations.
- To accept and embrace death does not mean to remain indifferent to the fate of it human. I contemplate the beauty of the sacrifice that the spider makes by offering her body as food to give life to her children, she doesn´t fight them, or tries to stop them and more important, she does not resent the action of her children when they devour her body and therefore there is no need of forgiving that which is an unconditional offering of herself to life. A sacrifice as conscious and courageous as any mother willing to devote his life to the care of her children. Love reveals itself in strange and profound ways, somehow, what feeds my flesh is something of them is transferred to me. When his flesh becomes my flesh. Perhaps, this is something that the spider is aware of when she devours the butterfly that falls in her web, and maybe she knows that something of her flesh will be part of those who now build the cobwebs she once did…
I can see the fire in me, I am the heat that inhabits the fire, which dwells in every molecule, every particle, every being that breathes and that returns to the whole in every exhalation that I make, like the last breathe that one day I will give away.
- I fail to understand why the creator gave claws and teeth to their children just to watch them shatter and devour each other?
- Maybe it was necessary to force ourselves to do what is necessary to continue proving to ourselves that no matter what the circumstances are under which we are born and exist, whether we have teeth and claws, or have fins or gills that that does not limit what we are able to do with what has been done of us, we are nothing but that which we make of ourselves… maybe there was only one way… to guarantee that we will continue expressing and living that love, that unconditional sacrifice for the others despite of our teeth and our claws. I do not know of the origin that can´t be found within myself and the responsibility of my actions… I don´t understand why the man fears their own power, so much so that he desperately tries to push it apart of himself and makes others responsible of what he creates, and this is to such an extent that he expects that the presence of whatever he was upon the earth somehow will continue walking somewhere else once he yearns his last breath; actually I think it's cowardly and selfish, thinking that their individuality remains or is preserved in someway or another, it is his greatest fear, because he is not willing to be part of something bigger than he is, he expects to be able to sit at the right of the father remaining as an individual, but the truth is that the human beings do not realize that they are already part of something bigger than themselves, something as big as the ant, the worm, the butterfly, the spider and what connects them as part of what we call life. If I cannot find the origin, I must be the origin… I do not try to hold it onto another denying my existence, because I see my reflection in all things, in all creatures, they are me as I am them.
- All I wanted to do was to protect that which I could saw in the deer… is that something cowardly and selfish!?
- It is… do not think that if you don´t play or influence the earth and its creatures it avoids, or prevents any consequence. Actually the only thing that you do is to again turn away to the relationships that connect us all equally, it's like coming into the world and go through this life without really existing. You never touch anything, never do anything, but everything around you continues growing and feeding and you cannot be part of that balance, taking you thus to the inevitable condition of your extinction along with all of your kind. The human depends much more of the creatures in this world than what he realizes and if these relationships are broken, the human beings will perish with them, because he was never able to manage the understanding of the balance of which he was part of. Somehow he has placed this ideas from above the relationships that connects him to the whole, but he believes his own ideas, and creates a false sense of nobility around them which actually exists only in appearance, because they actually are very distant from life; They hide in this misconceptions they create about themselves and try to place and add value to them such as honor and respect only to feel secure in them, because they are terrified of the world that they don´t understand.
- Your words do not alleviate the guilt that afflicts my conscience
- The thing is human, that there is no idea in which you can hide. That moment that you are trying to run away from, actually wasn´t a moment that you lived, but a moment that you died... every moment brings you closer to your death and when you try to live defined in those moments... guess what happens...
- Indeed my friend, death does not forgive whims, because such “relationships” are so limited, so self centered... that they are not able to continue beyond the relationship that was form to them by and only for the individual who created them in the first place, as that was only his perception, his mind and his egoistical relationship that could not connect with anything else but his own desires, wants and needs. However, the man who ends his own grudges, destroys his own hatred and place his ego apart which destroys not only himself but those around him, makes a gift to this life and it is then that even from death, life can emerge. In that simple act the man who dies and creates itself, literally makes an act of creation, where from nothing he creates something and gives life to what he decides to bring to life as an expression and manifestation of himself. Death is not necessarily the end of things, it can also be the beginning of things; the real question here is: What is exactly what we allow to die and what do we allow to live?
- Forgiving the action of man who makes a mistake is one thing, but to forgive evil is something quite different...
- Unless the mercy of the man is confused with indulgence, which will blind him about his actions directing him to do what he thinks is right instead of what is necessary, which very few men understand and even less dare to do it, and this is not an action taken by men who believe that the end justifies the means, as that it´s actually an action in which the man has to let go of his personal interests to do what is best for himself and for his brothers… an act of absolute courage...
- I didn´t want to kill that child!
- Sure! And that will give you the opportunity to attack while I am with my guard down!
- Do you really think I would have come here alone without having secured the victory from the beginning? Look around you…
The young hunter looked at his surroundings, to discover a herd of wolves around him who had been listening to the whole conversation between his leader and the hunter.
- If I had wanted, I would have ended with you from the beginning of this conversation. Now human, have a look behind you...
Resigned to the fact the he was completely surrounded, the hunter placed down bow and arrow, gave a deep sigh and turned his body to look at the site in which he placed the infant's body, discovering that the tiny body of the boy was gone and leaving in its place the body of the deer that he had tried to bring down, which still had around his chest the strings that the hunter used to drag him to his camp.
- The child that you saw human, was actually you, that's what you saw in the eyes of the deer, you saw yourself, scared and alone before the world in which you fear to live... but you must know that the only one who has the right over his own destiny is yourself. You can use the past as your guide to feed your own hatred and resentment or reborn being the ever merciful and loving child over his own ego, that estimates more the reflection of his own existence as life itself and forgets about the past, as he forgets and forgives the actions of those who assaulted him before, that “intelligence” that apparently reminds you every moment what they did to you and what apparently own you. The man measures his experiences and then decides which ones he likes and which he doesn´t, to then turns them in hatred and rancor in his memoirs. Tries to get happiness from the things in which he place and defines value, he tries so hard to achieve and conquer the world with who he is in war. To lose his individuality means to recognize he is part of the world that he has separated himself from… but the humans are so defined by this separated values in which they try so hard to find that pieces that they have missed of themselves, which they try to fill with emotions and feelings that couldn´t last beyond their own reducted and limited existence, that they have not been able to see this, the only reason why they feel so lonely, so lost… it´s because the human has learned that the things have and lose their value, instead of seeing that value in themselves as life, in all and everything that surrounds them.
- How can you be so sure? What about virtue and goodness? Are they also foolishness?
- I'm afraid to tell you my friend that one doesn´t get to know the world through the goodness of the angels, but through it´s demons, yet, being aware of the limitations of this reality doesn´t mean that you should subjugate to them, because when one takes an honest look at the own mistakes, one also gives to oneself the opportunity to correct and forgive the past in order to carve a better future. I think that, as long as we are convinced that the enemy is out there, the farther we are to understand what really is wrong with us and also the farther we are of our chance to change it. I see you, my friend, not as threat but as an opportunity to understand what´s wrong and thus use it to transcend our own limitations... remember that the problems lies not in those who can not enter, but in those who cannot get out.
It is curious and I wonder why humans believe that they must achieve something if they are born in the divine image and likeness of that creator in which they have separated their power from? Why the evil touches him so quickly and expeditiously while the divinity attributed to this supreme being only sits and waits for those "worthy" of the glory that humans so desperately craves for? Divinity that is reached only by the few who apparently were born predestined to it, those that are apparently enlightened and chosen for a so called “supreme plan” of this creator from birth? Why it is that this creator in it´s infinite knowledge and wisdom manifested equality among humans? Are the image and likeness of God a given thing? Or is it that the human has not yet realized that that is something that he is able to do for himself, recognizing that in this whole existence as himself and create it instead of waiting for the “divinity” to come and do it for himself?
- What do you mean? Man hasn´t done the act of creating this creation.
- What is that supreme authority attributed to this creator my friend?
-Creation itself perhaps
- No, human, the creation is the result of a chaotic act, an act that involves death and life itself, actually the power that the human beings have attributed to this creator, beyond any supernatural manifestation, that apparently goes beyond of understanding the manifestation of the relationships that connects him with the whole existence around him and how those same relationships and manifestions exist within and as himself, is the act of forgiveness. The authority to stop defining yourself in the past, the authority to give to yourself the opportunity to see yourself as something different from that which you have believed and perceived yourself to be limited to, the power and strength to overcome his own anger, his own guilt, his own sorrow, but he doesn´t dare to take that authority, because to really forgive themselves means to place themselves in a position of equality with that creator in which they have delegated their responsibility.
To explore within and beyond the world that has been placed before my eyes as the limited scheme of possibilities defined in and as the memory of this values and definitions given throughout the generations that have charged with the burdens of the past, means to understand that in the consideration of all the relationships in my world I am able to transcend the barriers of my limited presence that I have defined as me and I expand to the infinity of the possibilities which I also see and realize that it is me, the very existence of the universe in which I exist. "Omniscience, Omnipresence and Omnipotence" have been also attributed to a supreme, distant and separate entity from humanity. As if the human was unable to feel the heat inside themselves and step out of the limitations of their own body to get to feel the others, because doing this gives me the opportunity to bring my presence to every corner of this world in despite of the distance, and within that, the ability to understand myself allows me to understand more about the world around me and I discover that I am the reflection of the existence itself in all its forms and expressions as it´s unlimited expression of life, which is the same life that exists within myself.
That is why my friend, you can now see and realice that there is no God, because the true being of the human is fragmented in the very separation he has created as divisions, social classes, economies, politics that sectorize the world, which isn´t allowing us to live the true potential that we truly have. That power can only be taken and lived together, only if we stand together, because only understanding that that “other” is one and the same as me, means to understand what we can do together to create this world, as the Creation, Creator and Created, to no longer in the limitation that cannot transcend and leave anything to our relatives after we die… but to create something that actually lasts forever…
- But I thought that child died...
- No human, he only became a Man.
And then the wolf and the hunter sat together to eat the flesh of his brother and they celebrated together the birth of the child who became a man, a brother and faithful friend...
The legend says that it was the human who tamed the wolf, but it is a lie, it was the wolf who tamed the human and helped him to become a Man.