martes, 29 de marzo de 2016

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 907, Introducing School Of Ultimate Living - SOUL

SOUL is a new program that has recently seeing the light announced practical . It’s an exciting new program that has been set up to offer exactly the kind of tools and solutions for anyone who looks out for changing those little things in their lives who are simply not working...

Let´s take a little exaple - No one likes the way constant worrying makes you feel, so why is it so difficult to stop? The answer lies in the beliefs—both negative and positive— that one creates around oneself and who one apparently is in relation to worrying.

But what does it mean to bring solutions and what are exactly the kind of solutions that SOUL offers?

sábado, 19 de marzo de 2016

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 906, Tale: A jaunt with wolves

This is a little tale that I wrote and that now I want to share with all of you, enjoy.

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid or not”. - Audre Lorde-

Ancient tales tell that when man still used the tongue of animals to speak, before he could lose himself inside his own ego, a young man found an old Wiseman along the forest. The old sage taught him the secrets of a master hunter. Admit this solid undergrowth his body adjusted perfectly to the strange geometry of the branches in which he was hiding, the checkered map of time dissolved in his thoughts that were waiting for the moment to catch it´s prey. He calculated and thought over and over again his movements, the distance between the bow and his heart, the mortal dance to magnanimously adjust with his prey, soon his life and the one of his weir will be at peril.

The forest was a tomb infused in the silence and the man’s body was starting to wear under that painful posture, until the sound he was waiting for… a branch cracked on the floor announcing the presence of the one who was going to be his prey.

He stood up quietly to maintain the fragile balance among the embranchment beneath his feet, and making whatever necessary to preserve the silence that gave him the advantage he so much needed. He extended his finge carefully away from the broadleaved branches that revealed the gaze of two crystalline eyes that met his.

The outstanding antlers of the creature were paramount to the crowns of the greater kings even though inside his eyes showed the sweetest innocence. This was fixed and deep, like if inside those big eyes revealed the most intimate and profound secrets of the soul.

A subtle whisper escaped his lips: “perfect.” He eases his bow and prepared the arrow with a firm hand, holding the breath with the sight fixated in the bulls eye. He aligned the head of the deadly projectile… and he stopped.

“I can’t…” he said to himself. Because he was astonished by the beauty of that superb animal. It was simply magnificent so he decided to resist the hunger one more day.

Slowly but surely he began to slacken his bow. But in that same moment a clumsy movement of his foot made him fall of the branch into the ground; the arrow was released in the air and he fell, hitting his head against one of the roots of the tree; the light was fading out in the instant that the concoction followed by the sordid hit to the head paralyzed his body.

He perceived himself absent by a moment before he could look up and behold the darkness of the forest already covered by a night mantle; the moon drew a few white dunes in the firmament describing a static ocean amid the forest.  The scents of lime and pine flooded the atmosphere with such a harmony that I could swear his breathings where enough to nourish his spirit. He stopped for a moment to behold the beauty of the scene amongst his eyes, touring the unusual landscape hidden to the eyes used to find normalcy in appearances, but soon, looking amongst the brushwood, he found a reddish glow that stand up in the middle of that scene, and his curiosity did not wait to look for the origin of that strange tincture.

Nevertheless, before him, the horror… the deer that he found moments before, disappeared. In its place, he found the body of a child, a child with the silent expression of the eternal rest…

The arrow that desecrated his body was removed fast but delicately from the heart that had since stopped beating, the hunter kneeled down, shrouded by guilt and remorse. He knelt down when he realized he was responsible for that mislead arrow. Somehow he found his own actions contradictive at the prospect of the reality before him, but it´s just that he didn´t want to cause any more harm, he didn´t want it to hurt anymore…

He took a deep breath, dried his tears and he looked up decided to perform the fair funeral rights. He wrapped the rope that was originally intended to drag its prey around the chest of the child, to begin with the hard dragging of the body through the woods to get to his camp.

Over the hours, the rope began to lacerate the skin of the young hunter. However, perhaps motivated by his own remorse… he was determined to carry the body of that child, trying to exonerate his own fault, hoping that at least in this way his debt could be compensated somehow...

The darkness was so dense that every step he took in it, he felt the cold caress of a winter wind and suddenly he found himself immersed in the middle of a glacial ocean, each step that he took, seemed like thousands of needles lacerating his muscles, hindering their movements and even vanquishing his will. If that was not enough, as he walked with his naked feet across the troubled ground, he could feel the stones opening the soles of his feet and his ankles, which teetered awkwardly due to the immense pain while he tryed to maintain the absurd memory of what he once knew as balance in the middle of the midst of such dense darkness. Uncertainty gripped him... How many years he had wandered in the darkness? When was the last time he took a clever step in the midst of that murky?

In the distance, he began to notice the oaks that gave indication of the location of their camp, encouraging him to make the last effort needed to finally rest of such exhaustive journey.

He had finally arrived, he quickly chose some branches and dry leaves from the surroundings, used a little resin he had already and fixed up everything he needed in a circular shape in order to start a small fire. A spark with a pair of flints gradually started a subtle flame that began to emerge between the leaves. The weak flame glittered inside a primitive impulse that compelled him to keep a respectful distance between it´s body and the corps in front of him; an ancient and irrational fear that announced the presence of an strange being. However, in the absence of other signals that could offer alternative and pushed by his own despair, he decided to ignore his own fear clinging to the only sign just as clear as the dim flame in the distance, his curiosity. So he started to approach the flame that began to gradually grow, there was no doubt about it, it began to grow so slowly, it remained weak at the beginning but ending strongly, as if at his presence something stoked the flame.

Legend says it was the man who tamed the wolf, but it is a lie, it was the wolf who tamed the man.

 The idea washed over him, the reality that actually both the flame and he were in the midst of blackness.
A place where the fire was no longer an inert element as he had conceived most of his life. No, this was something else, something subject of body and presence whose form remained diffuse but full at the same time. His light shine could barely beyond its boundary to that deep squalor, but remained constant at the brutality and ruthlessness of the shadows that seemed to try to consume it. Now I was watching the fire, a being with free will. The hunter was sure of it...

Also he began to notice that with each step he took toward the fire, his muscles became loose from the needles formed inside them by the freezing darkness. The heat which was released by the fire, could no longer be explained by the logic that turns cold into cold and heat into heat. His mind was no longer adequate, his body was being released and that feeling was describing something so abstract that he could not articulate it in words.

He sat for a moment in front of it, staring to the inside, feeling their presence across the abyss that divided them: "the clearance between both of our bodies" he said to himself; his own warmth was unfamiliar,  more unique in his presence than anything he had ever experienced and yet a part of it was towards him across the gap between them, something was happening to him through the space between them, something was breaking the cold logic of his consciousness, in the same way that fire crossed the abysmal cold of darkness.

Some whispers had emerged from his mouth, murmuring as in a respectful rite of communion with himself:

"It is said that objects never really touch in space, because the molecules never touch each other. There is always a certain distance between each other. The atoms do not touch each other, because if they did, it will cause a reaction known as nuclear fission and they would explode in such a rapid and dramatic way to even be able to accommodate ever the presence of any form of life ... indeed, it seems everything requires certain individuality, some kind of independence, but the truth is that nothing would be consolidated or would manifest itself without the union and closeness that these molecules have with each other.

When you cut the wood what is it that really divides the molecules of it? As the ax strikes the wood and it separates, what divides it? Is it the edge of the ax, or the heat generated by the friction of impact? What is the heat between molecules?

Have you ever stared at the fire? Have you ever noticed the heat inside you? What a strange manifestation fire is in this existence. I always thought that the fire simply consumed the wood as a fuel, something to keep the fire burning. Despite that, the fire does not bite or chew, do not eat or devour, actually it caresses and touches the wood, perches on it and wraps it around, the same way lovers rub their bodies and feel the heat between them stoking their presence until both of them are integrated into the embrace as one…

Ironically, as matter is transformed into a caress of fire, lovers also transform each other with each of their petting, but we don’t call those caresses a simple "particle acceleration", acceleration supposedly reconstitutes the stout of wood against the wind and the heat of the fire...
There is something in those tears that I've cried throughout my life that had transformed my interior: either I cry for joy, anger or sadness; all those emotions, all those experiences, all those feelings generate heat inside my body and each one of them that has come and go throughout my life. Something of me has changed, it has been transformed and has vilified every thought that has crosses my mind, every thought as the spark that generates all those emotions, which generates the heat inside me...

Something in those lovers also vilifies as the fire consumes them... suddenly they manipulate each other, they use the heat of the other as a way to blackmail, deceive and manipulate them.  
Promises turn into ice cold spears and swords, used against each other, as if with that, they could snag the other and make him or her depend on the other ones presence... but who is really depending on whom? Who tries to ensure the permanence of the other into the world of the befitting? It's like if both battle to get the other one´s fuel  to continue consuming each other until the fire becomes unmanageable and at last consumes both.

Fire can create and hand life, as the mother who protects the brood inside her, where it can obtain food, and especially the heat needed for survival or that which constitutes a kind of external womb, a solid but delicate expression to temporarily hold that life which is still waiting to be born. While the mother seeks in the earth the warmth she can’t provide and that the egg can’t generate by itself, where only a few centimeters from the surface there’s enough heat to shelter the broods, so they can receive the embrace of another mother, the embrace of the earth itself…

Not any life form can exist without the presence of sufficient heat, without the inner fire, but any form of life can be consumed quickly if it loses its balance and stability for any reason, when the small flame becomes an uncontrollable fire that consumes everything, in the same way our mind can be consumed by madness if we do not master our thoughts and our feelings.

What is the fire in you? What is the fire really? What is this heat inside me that recognizes and embraces his brother? What is this heat in my body which becomes more evident in the moments that I embrace another body? "

His own murmur wrapped the whole scene, in that silence even the slightest sound resonated as an echoed that reverberated all around, but suddenly, when that murmur came back, expressed something different than what he had said:

- What would become obvious to you but your own ignorance to the order of existence itself? You do not know how to see things as they are, because only see things from your limited perspective, you try to see things just as you think you are.

The dim light of the flame drew some shadows in the midst of the squalor and despite the weakness of that glow flash that lit subtly its surroundings. It was enough for him to analyze the face of the infant - his black hair, round cheeks, her delicate lips and slim body; It remained near him, watching and contemplating his traits, wondering about his mother and father.

"Perhaps they are concerned" he said to himself, and if he found them how would he explain to them what had occurred? How to alleviate the pain of his parents by simply justifying the awkwardness of his actions? And what would be their reaction at the light of such terrible news?

He watched the boy's face carefully trying to guess the interior of his memories, the things that would have made him laugh and mourn, the experiences he had lived, the roads he traveled, the friends he made and who perhaps would now miss him.

The intensity of the fire was growing with the passing of time and it´s glow began to push back the darkness around him, after a few minutes the young hunter found himself very quiet, just looking at the fire, until the snap of the sparks suddenly caught his attention, focusing his gaze onto these, where his eyes met directly with the look of a mysterious being, harbored in the darkness across the fire. Two tiny orange sparks subtly delineated through the fire, hiding the piercing gaze of a ferocious animal; an immense shadow began to emerge from the flames and a sharp smile between the snout and the pointed ears of the beast, holding the eyes of a ruthless and merciless judge whose gaze seemed to penetrate on the very beingness of the young hunter, divining all their movements and foreseeing its inevitable end; it´s robust body, supported between thin but muscular legs, hold it´s steps even in the midst of the darkness which were as firm as his denoted willingness to kill, imbuing the hunter in the feeling of being cornered and destined to be merely the appetizer of the beast ...

- Who are you and what brings you here stranger? (He asked the ferocious animal)

The man prepared bow and arrow, getting ready to defend his own life and the infant at his feet.

- I come to claim the food that you have despised

- There's nothing for you here, you'll have to look elsewhere!

- You defend a being who has ceased its breath in a world reserved for the living, there’s no place for him here human. 
I recommend that as you have killed this being in his presence on the Earth, finish with what remains of it inside your consciousness

- It´s not food what you see here wolf, but the body of my fallen brother!

The wolf ´s gesture changed dramatically stalking surprise and a vein of strangeness could be appreciated in his eyes, which were wandering on the man's face because.  It was curious about the meaning of the words that the hunter had just pronounced. It took a few seconds to spot the fissure in the man's head, still bleeding from the incident and then asked the hunter:

- Human, How did you inflict that wound to yourself?

- I was hunting in the forest when I spotted a deer which I was trying to knock down, suddenly I slipped from the tree in which I was hidden and slammed my head against the roots of the trunk and the lost arrow reached the one who now lies at my feet.

- I see… human, I see a lot of confusion and fear in your eyes and I dread telling you that you're lost. Currently there’s nothing more inside you but doubt and fear.

- I am not lost. This fire here has shown me the way. You are the one who does  deserve the company of this place!

- Young is your race amongst those who have preceded him, you demand respect still in a world to which you have just arrived

- How dare you pretend to know what moves inside me? Tell me, can you see the pain and guilt that lies within me?

- It's not me who has wandered in the darkness for so many years... I´m afraid to tell you my friend that you have been away from the light for more lives than you could glimpse; You may have found the flame before, but actually it was you who always chose to remain aloof, otherwise it would have still emerged even in the middle of the densest darkness, in the same way that your presence has fed it and allowed it to emerge, that´s why actually yours has been rather an absence that hasn´t done anything but to highlight the ignorance in which you have lived ... honestly speaking, a good hunter does not waver or miss the opportunity of a sure prey.

Why have you deliberately slipped, depriving yourself from the food provided to you despite the hunger that afflicts you?

- I found the presence of that deer sublime, his eyes met mine for a moment and when I saw them, I saw myself; I decided to resist one more day of hunger to find another prey.

- And don´t you think you would have found in other beings the same telltale look of your own nature? Why do you hide in the darkness of your unconsciousness, ignoring the reflection of your brothers?

- Severe words for a murderer…

- Life and death are not separated my friend, both are part of oneself, some things end and others begin, one breathes bringing to oneself the manifestation of life in and exhales in the same way that one gives the last breath that marks the end of our life, life and death are present in every breath; you open your eyes each morning in the same way you saw the light of this world and you close them every night as you close your eyes to the light of life. And yet, the irony is that the light begins within the chaos, cause in spite that we try to recognize and interpret the world through the light, it is in the shadows where the materiality of life it´s configured... chaos and order, life and death…

Sometimes, I have been forced to eat the same meat that has traveled and hunted with me, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, my own family, but that doesn´t mean that I don´t see my brothers in the flesh that feds me, as they fed me with the words that they spoke throughout their life´s, nurturing my very beingness; it is the same meat that sustains me in this world and one day will be and become the food for other beings who are also my brothers...

- How is it that you can remain so indifferent to the loss of your loved ones?

- Your own individuality has blinded you, you ignore the relationships that connects you to all beings in existence, as the tiny ant that feeds on the bodies of the greatest beings, or the worm on the earth that nourishes the floor and still feeds on the remains that fails to consume the ant, nothing is wasted in this world, even the smallest part of your existence… and you will be part of it, even when your presence no longer walks on this earth; however, you don´t realize that when you turn away to those that surround you, you also are turning your back to yourself for the sake of a mistaken perception of independence and freedom... your eyes have become accustomed to seeing through wrong and misleading ideas and now a deep blindness is clouding your consciousness.

- I've never turned my view away from the truth, neither from the world in front of me, I am ME, and the prey that I hunt is not me! Do not believe that you can deceive me with your absurd contemplations.

- To accept and embrace death does not mean to remain indifferent to the fate of it human. I contemplate the beauty of the sacrifice that the spider makes by offering her body as food to give life to her children, she doesn´t fight them, or tries to stop them and more important, she does not resent the action of her children when they devour her body and therefore there is no need of forgiving that which is an unconditional offering of herself to life. A sacrifice as conscious and courageous as any mother willing to devote his life to the care of her children. Love reveals itself in strange and profound ways, somehow, what feeds my flesh is something of them is transferred to me. When his flesh becomes my flesh. Perhaps, this is something that the spider is aware of when she devours the butterfly that falls in her web, and maybe she knows that something of her flesh will be part of those who now build the cobwebs she once did…

I can see the fire in me, I am the heat that inhabits the fire, which dwells in every molecule, every particle, every being that breathes and that returns to the whole in every exhalation that I make, like the last breathe that one day I will give away.

- I fail to understand why the creator gave claws and teeth to their children just to watch them shatter and devour each other?

- Maybe it was necessary to force ourselves to do what is necessary to continue proving to ourselves that no matter what the circumstances are under which we are born and exist, whether we have teeth and claws, or have fins or gills that that does not limit what we are able to do with what has been done of us, we are nothing but that which we make of ourselves… maybe there was only one way… to guarantee that we will continue expressing and living that love, that unconditional sacrifice for the others despite of our teeth and our claws. I do not know of the origin that can´t be found within myself and the responsibility of my actions… I don´t understand why the man fears their own power, so much so that he desperately tries to push it apart of himself and makes others responsible of what he creates, and this is to such an extent that he expects that the presence of whatever he was upon the earth somehow will continue walking somewhere else once he yearns his last breath; actually I think it's cowardly and selfish, thinking that their individuality remains or is preserved in someway or another, it is his greatest fear, because he is not willing to be part of something bigger than he is, he expects  to be able to sit at the right of the father remaining as an individual, but the truth is that the human beings do not realize that they are already part of something bigger than themselves, something as big as the ant, the worm, the butterfly, the spider and what connects them as part of what we call life. If I cannot find the origin, I must be the origin… I do not try to hold it onto another denying my existence, because I see my reflection in all things, in all creatures, they are me as I am them.

- All I wanted to do was to protect that which I could saw in the deer… is that something cowardly and selfish!?

- It is… do not think that if you don´t play or influence the earth and its creatures it avoids, or prevents any consequence. Actually the only thing that you do is to again turn away to the relationships that connect us all equally, it's like coming into the world and go through this life without really existing. You never touch anything, never do anything, but everything around you continues growing and feeding and you cannot be part of that balance, taking you thus to the inevitable condition of your extinction along with all of your kind. The human depends much more of the creatures in this world than what he realizes and if these relationships are broken, the human beings will perish with them, because he was never able to manage the understanding of the balance of which he was part of. Somehow he has placed this ideas from above the relationships that connects him to the whole, but he believes his own ideas, and creates a false sense of nobility around them which actually exists only in appearance, because they actually are very distant from life; They hide in this misconceptions they create about themselves and try to place and add value to them such as honor and respect only to feel secure in them, because they are terrified of the world that they don´t understand.

- Your words do not alleviate the guilt that afflicts my conscience

- The thing is human, that there is no idea in which you can hide. That moment that you are trying to run away from, actually wasn´t a moment that you lived, but a moment that you died... every moment brings you closer to your death and when you try to live defined in those moments... guess what happens...

- I remain dead as memory...

- Exactly...

- The death speaking of forgiveness? Death does not spare anyone!

- Indeed my friend, death does not forgive whims, because such “relationships” are so limited, so self centered... that they are not able to continue beyond the relationship that was form to them by and only for the individual who created them in the first place, as that was only his perception, his mind and his egoistical relationship that could not connect with anything else but his own desires, wants and needs. However, the man who ends his own grudges, destroys his own hatred and place his ego apart which destroys not only himself but those around him, makes a gift to this life and it is then that even from death, life can emerge. In that simple act the man who dies and creates itself, literally makes an act of creation, where from nothing he creates something and gives life to what he decides to bring to life as an expression and manifestation of himself. Death is not necessarily the end of things, it can also be the beginning of things; the real question here is: What is exactly what we allow to die and what do we allow to live?

- Forgiving the action of man who makes a mistake is one thing, but to forgive evil is something quite different...

- Unless the mercy of the man is confused with indulgence, which will blind him about his actions directing him to do what he thinks is right instead of what is necessary, which very few men understand and even less dare to do it, and this is not an action taken by men who believe that the end justifies the means, as that it´s actually an action in which the man has to let go of his personal interests to do what is best for himself and for his brothers… an act of absolute courage...

- I didn´t want to kill that child!

- What child?! Look back at the body of the being that is behind you!

- Sure! And that will give you the opportunity to attack while I am with my guard down!

- Do you really think I would hav
e come here alone without having secured the victory from the beginning? Look around you…

The young hunter looked at his surroundings, to discover a herd of wolves around him who had been listening to the whole conversation between his leader and the hunter.

- If I had wanted, I would have ended with you from the beginning of this conversation. Now human, have a look behind you...

Resigned to the fact the he was completely surrounded, the hunter placed down bow and arrow, gave a deep sigh and turned his body to look at the site in which he placed the infant's body, discovering that the tiny body of the boy was gone and leaving in its place the body of the deer that he had tried to bring down, which still had around his chest the strings that the hunter used to drag him to his camp.

- Impossible…

- The child that you saw human, was actually you, that's what you saw in the eyes of the deer, you saw yourself, scared and alone before the world in which you fear to live... but you must know that the only one who has the right over his own destiny is yourself. You can use the past as your guide to feed your own hatred and resentment or reborn being the ever merciful and loving child over his own ego, that estimates more the reflection of his own existence as life itself and forgets about the past, as he forgets and forgives the actions of those who assaulted him before, that “intelligence” that apparently reminds you every moment what they did to you and what apparently own you. The man measures his experiences and then decides which ones he likes and which he doesn´t, to then turns them in hatred and rancor in his memoirs. Tries to get happiness from the things in which he place and defines value, he tries so hard to achieve and conquer the world with who he is in war. To lose his individuality means to recognize he is part of the world that he has separated himself from… but the humans are so defined by this separated values in which they try so hard to find that pieces that they have missed of themselves, which they try to fill with emotions and feelings that couldn´t last beyond their own reducted and limited existence, that they have not been able to see this, the only reason why they feel so lonely, so lost… it´s because the human has learned that the things have and lose their value, instead of seeing that value in themselves as life, in all and everything that surrounds them.

- How can you be so sure? What about virtue and goodness? Are they also foolishness?

- I'm afraid to tell you my friend that one doesn´t get to know the world through the goodness of the angels, but through it´s demons, yet, being aware of the limitations of this reality doesn´t mean that you should subjugate to them, because when one takes an honest look at the own mistakes, one also gives to oneself the opportunity to correct and forgive the past in order to carve a better future. I think that, as long as we are convinced that the enemy is out there, the farther we are to understand what really is wrong with us and also the farther we are of our chance to change it. I see you, my friend, not as threat but as an opportunity to understand what´s wrong and thus use it to transcend our own limitations... remember that the problems lies not in those who can not enter, but in those who cannot get out.

It is curious and I wonder why humans believe that they must achieve something if they are born in the divine image and likeness of that creator in which they have separated their power from? Why the evil touches him so quickly and expeditiously while the divinity attributed to this supreme being only sits and waits for those "worthy" of the glory that humans so desperately craves for? Divinity that is reached only by the few who apparently were born predestined to it, those that are apparently enlightened and chosen for a so called “supreme plan” of this creator from birth? Why it is that this creator in it´s infinite knowledge and wisdom manifested equality among humans?
Are the image and likeness of God a given thing? Or is it that the human has not yet realized that that is something that he is able to do for himself, recognizing that in this whole existence as himself and create it instead of waiting for the “divinity” to come and do it for himself?

- What do you mean? Man hasn´t done the act of creating this creation.

- What is that supreme authority attributed to this creator my friend?

-Creation itself perhaps

- No, human, the creation is the result of a chaotic act, an act that involves death and life itself, actually the power that the human beings have attributed to this creator, beyond any supernatural manifestation, that apparently goes beyond of understanding the manifestation of the relationships that connects him with the whole existence around him and how those same relationships and manifestions exist within and as himself, is the act of forgiveness. The authority to stop defining yourself in the past, the authority to give to yourself the opportunity to see yourself as something different from that which you have believed and perceived yourself to be limited to, the power and strength to overcome his own anger, his own guilt, his own sorrow, but he doesn´t dare to take that authority, because to really forgive themselves means to place themselves in a position of equality with that creator in which they have delegated their responsibility.

To explore within and beyond the world that has been placed before my eyes as the limited scheme of possibilities defined in and as the memory of this values and definitions given throughout the generations that have charged with the burdens of the past, means to understand that in the consideration of all the relationships in my world I am able to transcend the barriers of my limited presence that I have defined as me and I expand to the infinity of the possibilities which I also see and realize that it is me, the very existence of the universe in which I exist. "Omniscience, Omnipresence and Omnipotence" have been also attributed to a supreme, distant and separate entity from humanity. As if the human was unable to feel the heat inside themselves and step out of the limitations of their own body to get to feel the others, because doing this gives me the opportunity to bring my presence to every corner of this world in despite of the distance, and within that, the ability to understand myself allows me to understand more about the world around me and I discover that I am the reflection of the existence itself in all its forms and expressions as it´s unlimited expression of life, which is the same life that exists within myself.

This act gives me absolute understanding of everything is life, life is here, I am one and equal with life, and the life that I consider in me is the life that I will live with and towards others, as I give to myself that relationship with others in and through life itself, and where the understanding of the fact that I am the creator of the possibilities, and the possibility that each one gives to oneself of life and living in that same understanding, that same connection, becomes the relationship that allows to move as the collective force that can make and create not only a new world, but a possibility for everyone, which brings with us the true power of our Oneness and Equality.

That is why my friend, you can now see and realice that there is no God, because the true being of the human is fragmented in the very separation he has created as divisions, social classes, economies, politics that sectorize the world, which isn´t allowing us to live the true potential that we truly have. That power can only be taken and lived together, only if we stand together, because only understanding that that “other” is one and the same as me, means to understand what we can do together to create this world, as the Creation, Creator and Created, to no longer in the limitation that cannot transcend and leave anything to our relatives after we die… but to create something that actually lasts forever…

- But I thought that child died...

- No human, he only became a Man.

And then the wolf and the hunter sat together to eat the flesh of his brother and they celebrated together the birth of the child who became a man, a brother and faithful friend...
The legend says that it was the human who tamed the wolf, but it is a lie, it was the wolf who tamed the human and helped him to become a Man.

viernes, 18 de marzo de 2016

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 905, El último invierno y la llegada de la primavera.

Por mucho tiempo pensé en terminar con mi vida y anhelaba con todas mis fuerzas que llegara ese momento, para dejar de sentir y dejar de pensar. Puedo entender que el prospecto del suicidio sea visto o considerado por muchos como un berrinche adolescente, sólo otra persona que simplemente se encuentra insatisfecha con la vida que ha creado creyéndose incapaz de cambiarla además de tener poco o nulo ánimo o voluntad para conseguirlo, en éste sentido el suicida es más simplemente un zángano que una persona sintiéndose demasiado pequeña para todas las puertas, casi inmerecedora de cruzar el umbral de sus propios apegos hacia las alternativas.

Pero quiero decirles algo acerca del suicidio y lo que éste puede significar para algunas personas, porque ciertamente es irónico cuando ves a aquellas personas que incluso se suicidan sin razón aparente, mientras todos creían que estaba bien, porque claro, el hecho es que "esta persona estaba bien a la vista de todos, pero estaba demasiado aislado como para poder comunicar cualquier cosa", de modo que ya sabes, la imagen se vuelve muy "normal" de la persona con depresión, y no estoy hablando de "la tristeza" que a nuestros ojos puede ser evidente de señalar y reconocer, sino de aquel silencio que aparenta nada y pretende todo...

Curiosamente antes de enfrentar algunos eventos que tomaron lugar en mi vida y que realmente me llevaron a considerar el suicidio como la aparente "solución de mis problemas", éste pensamiento ya existía en mi mente y puedo recordar como aún cuando las cosas no se encontraban necesariamente “mal” en mi mundo, yo pensaba en suicidarme..., tal vez se debía a las películas que veía, los dramas que uno ve expresados alrededor de todo tipo de ideas que giran en torno a las relaciones, el amor, el ser aceptado, amado, rechazado y es decir... es irónico, porque creo que una parte de mí se preguntaba si las personas me extrañarían y en mi muerte confesarían sus sentimientos conmigo tanto como yo quería confesarles los míos, sólo que no encontraba la forma de hacerlo.

Había tanto que quería darles a aquellos a quienes amé, pero siempre sentí que jamás podría ser aquello que anhelaba ser para aquellos que merecían tanto de mí y después de algunos años uno se da cuenta que ni siquiera pudo ser la clase de persona que a uno le habría gustado ser para uno mismo, porque uno estaba tan enfocado tratando de ser lo que creía que esperaban de uno (dentro de lo cual uno en realidad enfrenta una profunda frustración, puesto que se encuentra a sí mismo fallando frente a su propia pretensión de alcanzar un ideal que no sólo él no es capaz de alcanzar, sino que nadie puede porque nadie es capaz de realmente hacerlo... es difícil ser un hombre en una sociedad machista porque en realidad nadie es éste "macho" que todo hace, todo puede, nada siente pero que al mismo tiempo... es amoroso y es proveedor y es trabajador, pero tiene tiempo para estar en casa y con sus hijos y le es fiel sólo a su esposa aunque a la vez es deseado por todas las mujeres etc., etc., etc.)

Creo que cuando más débiles nos sentimos es más importante voltear a ver a aquellas cosas de las cuales tratamos de escapar constantemente, como la intimidad con nosotros mismos por ejemplo, la aceptación, el amor propio, la autoestima, etc., valores y principios que por alguna razón cuando eramos niños se nos enseño que no eran conductas propias de un hombre, si les parece exagerado miremos de igual forma a los principios que hemos asociado con lo masculino y con lo femenino (donde a éste respecto y dentro de una sociedad machista, lo femenino es aparentemente más débil que lo masculino)
- Un hombre no cede ante nada ni ante nadie, no se retracta de lo que dice o lo que hace, siempre es “fiel a sus ideas”, nadie puede ni debe meterse con él y si lo hace, la persona entonces debe y merece ser atacada para defender el ego del hombre...

Si uno se detiene a evaluar las implicaciones reales de estas declaraciones, esencialmente lo que las mismas provocan es que todo aquel que no tenga "principios bien establecidos" pueda muy fácilmente encerrarse en sus ideas y defender las mismas a razón de identificarlas como su ego masculino. Insisto, no estoy diciendo que estos principios no puedan ser establecidos en una dirección que realmente te hace tener los huevos de levantarte por aquello que es lo mejor para todos, el problema es que pocas (o nulas veces) nuestra sociedad aporta los valores y principios necesarios para realmente vivir en ese amor y consideración de los unos por los otros...

Nuevamente, cuando personalmente he sentido debilidad o me he sentido débil en una determinada situación, lo que puedo ver es que en realidad esa parte de mí que he percibido como "débil", en realidad tal vez me está mostrándo una parte más íntima de mí, más femenina de mí mismo y por consecuencia "MAS HUMANA DE MÍ MISMO" donde las barreras del género realmente se rompen y empezamos a vernos de la forma más sincera posible, tal vez primordialmente debido al hecho de que no me di la oportunidad para ello, es algo desafiante cuando uno se acostumbra tanto a la experiencia de su propio aislamiento y se aparta de su propia intimidad, de su capacidad de compartir… es interesante lo que puede provocar el egoísmo y si, puedes decir que soy débil, por no haber reconocido a tiempo que estar solo, es la condición natural de nuestra sola existencia ya que nadie puede morir o vivir por nosotros, a pesar de lo mucho que nos gusta “depender de otras personas para saber quiénes somos, que nos digan qué somos, cómo somos y todo lo que ello implica en términos de nuestro actuar, nuestro sentir y pensar…”

Así que, perdóname por todo lo que no pude ni podré darte, no puedo ahora y jamás podré siendo la persona que me he aceptado ser por tanto tiempo, y creo que lo verdaderamente más triste de ello, es que no importa cuántas veces diga “te quiero”, sé que estas palabras no pueden significar tanto para ti como lo significan para mí y no porque dependan de algún sentimiento que esencialmente no se encuentra en ti tanto como se encuentra en mí, es sólo que tal vez no he aprendido a vivir esas palabras, es fácil decirlas, es fácil sentirlas, pero vivir esas palabras implica un riesgo más grande que simplemente no ser querido, amado o correspondido por la persona que se quiere, implica hacer un sacrificio tan grande como el de la madre que trabaja de sol a sol para mantener a sus hijos porque el esposo es un mantenido o porque simplemente decidió no encontrarse…, implica el riesgo de no poder vivir sólo para uno mismo y perderse en el sentido de terminar viviendo por otros y para otros… es una línea muy delgada entre vivir por uno mismo haciendo lo mejor para todos y vivir por otros olvidándose de uno mismo. Creo que el sano equilibrio subyace entre esas dos.

En éste sentido, la verdad es que siempre me acostumbre a pensar que las personas se encontraban vacías..., pero tal vez, yo fui el que era en realidad demasiado egoísta como para compartir y el hecho es que al guardarme tanto éstas cosas, no supe verlas en otros, no podía, porque no tenía forma de encontrar la belleza que ni siquiera podía ver en mí mismo, sobre todo cuando ante el prospecto de mi inmadurez no supe hayar en las palabras que me parecían hirientes de otros, el regalo de la sinceridad y la verdadera amistad, y les digo humildemente que no ha sido fácil saber distinguir los buenos, de los verdaderos amigos (personas verdaderas o reales, como gusten referirse a ellos).

Te quiero sólo significa te quiero, te amo sólo significa te amo, ¿Podría acortarse esa distancia si lo expresara de otra forma? ¿Cómo si no pueden verme? ¿Cómo si no pueden tocarme? ¿Cómo si no pueden sentirme? La distancia era simplemente demasiada… y el aislamiento, la barrera que coloqué entre las personas y yo, tal vez por el temor de ser herido, no acortaban esa distancia. O tal vez es por el contrario, tal vez el problema es que amaba demasiado y me sentía demasiado agradecido, aunque dicen que el precio por amar es llevar las cicatrices, tal vez esa es la verdadera fuerza que he estado buscando en mí mismo, porque simplemente me sentía demasiado débil. Siempre fui un cobarde, los veía desde la distancia y enviaba las palabras que no tenía el valor de pronunciar en su presencia, ellos reían, yo lloraba. Incluso, confesaban su temor que les daba sentirse observados, y recuerdo ahora con ironía como en alguna ocasión una persona se acercó a mí para pedirme que dejara de verla desde la distancia…, algo similar ocurrió la primera vez que me declaré a una niña y me rechazó so pretexto del mismo temor…, tal vez no era a mí lo que temían, sino mi egoísmo, el hecho mismo de que permaneciera apartado e incapaz de compartir algo, pues sólo quería tomar de otros para mí mismo, quería su amistad, su compañía, pero no les daba la mía… ¿Cómo se puede confiar en una persona así, si tiene tanto que esconder para sí mismo que no puede compartirlo con otros?

La soledad siempre fue para mí una estación del año, una estación como el invierno que marchita las flores y seca los árboles, a veces terminaba con el caluroso verano la presencia de otra persona, pero ya han pasado demasiados años desde la última vez que vi aquella flor o el árbol bajo el cual solía hacer el amor. Todo es demasiado frío y siento como cada día se acerca más aquel invierno, un invierno que no alberga frío sino una sequía, un desierto vacío y sin calor, sin viento y sin agua, sin luz y sin nombre.

Tengo miedo, porque el que sube a la montaña no regresa siendo el mismo, tal vez lo que me da miedo es no tener la certeza de saber la clase de persona que seré cuando regrese, sin embargo me he hecho el compromiso de enfrentarme a mi propia muerte y como tal, quiero dejar todo listo antes de subir, porque cuando uno muere no lleva nada consigo, y aunque pensaba llevar una pequeña libreta para escribir lo que fuera necesario, creo que lo más necesario ahora es llevar esas palabras que solía escribir en la libreta (y por lo general dejarlas ahí) a la vida; estoy convencido y necesito estarlo de que subo a la montaña a enfrentar mi propia muerte, de otra forma no podré realizar el cambio que realmente quiero llevar a cabo en mí para dejar ir tanta mierda. Además, este no podría ser considerado realmente un adiós que decido darle a esta vida, para encontrarme realmente en la vida que quiero vivir.

Sólo una advertencia es necesaria para aquellos que leen ésto, las cosas van a cambiar pronto, porque voy a cambiar, no se extrañen de encontrar un individuo diferente al que conocieron, porque sinceramente no tengo ánimo ni deseo de seguir siendo el mismo… eso sería la verdadera definición de hipocresía.

Nos vemos al bajar. Un sincero y caluroso abrazo a todos.

Dato curiso:

Oyaté ha sido traducido como “gente” pero Oyaté significa mucho más que sólo “la gente” significa: toda la gente, todas las naciones, todos mis amigos, mis enemigos y me atrevería a decir que también aquellos con quienes ni siquiera encontramos similitud o parentesco como el reino animal o vegetal. AhoMetaquiase: significa: por todas mis relaciones, y de igual forma abarca las relaciones con todas las relaciones, es decir, mi relación con todo y significa también hago esto por todos (y como Desteni) por lo que es mejor para todos.

miércoles, 16 de marzo de 2016

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 904, Going up to the mountain

My give away´s are ready...

One of the Lakota´s ceremony, ( and the one for which I have been preparing myself) it´s called the "Vision Quest" which consists of going up to a mountain and staying there (without water or food) 4 days, not to meditate or create any mind bullshit, on the contrary, it is to learn to simply be. 

I know, you are wondering "why is that necessary?" Well, sincerely, it´s more an "excuse", if you prefer to call it that, to be with myself and you know actually I know that you can fairly say that it is not necessary, and I mean yes, actually it isn´t, no one is forced to go up, or to do it in any given moment of his/her life, but the thing is that I want to, I need to, because I´m tired of seeing myself like not getting serious and committed enough with my process; this is a challenge to my own commitment with myself and with my process, because when you are up there, you are alone, you actually "die" when you are up there, but you die in the sense that... you realize that everyone dies alone, no one can die for us, therefore being alone in the mountain is a challenge to yourself, to your commitment, to your stand in life and to what you are doing, and that is exactly what I am going to establish for myself once that I am there, I am going to give to myself that opportunity, to not have any distractions and only be with myself and with the nature for 4 days.

This message actually has two purposes, the first one, is of course to let everyone known that I am going to be absent for a couple of days and I will get back to my responsibilities once that I am done with what I want to do with myself, and the second one is to actually tell you to not to worry for me, I am going to be fine, there is people checking that everything is cool and if anything is necessary there is people to support, so again, don´t worry, I am going to be cool.

And of course I am going to share with you as soon as I return, what I have realized and so on. The ceremony is going to take place the day 22 (next week) and I´ll return the 26, until then, I will keep publishing and writting and you know, doing all my responsibilities and so on.

A warm hug to everyone...

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 903, La "soledad" sólo existe en la presencia de deseos

"La soledad no es lo mismo que el aislamiento. Estar aislado es estar separado de los otros: sin relaciones, sin amigos y sin amores. Estado anormal para el hombre, y casi siempre doloroso o mortífero. En cambio, la soledad es nuestra condición ordinaria: no porque no tengamos relaciones con el otro, sino porque estas relaciones no podrían abolir nuestra soledad esencial, que reside en el hecho de que estamos solos para ser lo que somos y para vivir lo que vivimos. «En la medida en que estamos solos -escribe Rilke- el amor y la muerte se aproximan.» No porque no exista el amor, o que uno muera solo, sino porque nadie puede amar o morir en nuestro lugar. Por eso «uno muere solo», decía Pascal: no porque haya de morir aislado (en tiempos de Pascal, casi nunca sucedía así: a su lado, se encontraban normalmente un sacerdote, la familia, los amigos...), sino porque nadie puede morir en nuestro lugar. Por eso uno vive solo, siempre: porque nadie puede vivir en nuestro lugar. Por eso el aislamiento es la excepción, y la soledad, la regla. Es el precio que hay que pagar para ser uno mismo."


Me perdono a mí mismo por no haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo darme cuenta que la soledad sólo puede existir en la presencia de los deseos, y que es cuando coloco mi atención en los deseos que la soledad de hecho se hace presente, donde de igual forma al haber ligado la soledad a la experiencia de tristeza o depresión, es entonces que yo alimento mi propia experiencia de frustración y entonces el deseo mismo de conseguir una pareja, lo cual entonces sólo refuerza el deseo y en el deseo la soledad y en la soledad la frustración, sin ver y darme cuenta que cuando llevo mi atención a otras cosas en lugar de los deseos, éstos desaparecen así como la soledad pues me encuentro conmigo mismo, en la presencia de mí mismo.

Me perdono a mí mismo por no haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo darme cuenta que si detengo mi participación en los deseos, entonces la soledad desaparece de igual forma y entonces puedo llevar mi atención a donde sea que necesite o quiera hacerlo porque mi atención ya no se encuentra condicionada o limitada por la satisfacción de un punto que veo y me doy cuenta que no es lo mejor para mí, ni es lo mejor para los demás en forma alguna

Me perdono a mí mismo por haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo sentirme solo, en lugar de ver y reconocer que siempre estoy solo, aún estando acompañado o en una relación, siempre me encuentro solo y mi relación con todo cuanto existe en éste mundo es el resultado de la relación conmigo mismo

Me perdono a mí mismo por no haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo darme cuenta que la soledad no existe, sino que es una experiencia que es creada dentro de mi mente, puesto que si siempre me he encontrado solo ¿Cómo puede existir la soledad? No puede

Me perdono a mí mismo por haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo crear deseos dentro de mi mente para entretenerme, para distraerme de lo que en verdad podría hacer para asistirme y apoyarme a mí mismo, donde en realidad, mientras escribo ésto, veo que siempre tengo muchas cosas que puedo realmente hacer y que podría realmente hacer, siempre hay trabajo, siempre hay pendientes, siempre hay cosas que puedo hacer y a las cuales dirigir mi atención en lugar de utilizar esa "energía" simplemente para alimentar un único punto que después al no encontrar la forma de canalizarlo, me lleva a desear masturbarme por ejemplo o a desear una relación la cual esencialmente solo deseo con el propósito de tener sexo, sin ver que puedo mover esa energía y canalizarla hacia otras cosas en las cuales pueda de hecho asistirme y apoyarme a mí mismo

Me perdono a mí mismo por haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo pensar que si canalizo la experiencia de los deseos hacia otra cosa que estoy de hecho evadiendo éstos, donde en realidad el deseo es la consecuencia de no haber canalizado la energía de forma eficiente en primer lugar, de modo que ese pensamiento se convierte entonces en sólo una excusa de mi mente para justificar la participación en los deseos mismos

Me perdono a mí mismo por no haberme aceptado y permitido a mí mismo ver y entender que si intento sólo detener los deseos sin entender donde es que estoy llevando mi atención en separación de mí mismo, lo cual es y resulta en la consecuencia misma por la cual genero éstos, entonces simplemente voy a continuar generando el mismo punto porque la atención en primer lugar no está siendo redirigida de forma eficiente.

En y cuando me vea a mí mismo experimentando cualquier deseo o proyección en separación de mí mismo, respiro y veo donde es que no estoy dirigiendo mi atención de forma eficiente, pues el deseo, únicamente emerge cuando mi atención no está siendo dirigida apropiadamente en y frente a un determinado momento

Me comprometo conmigo mismo a redirigir mi atención de forma eficiente para poder asistirme y apoyarme a mí mismo, no sólo deteniendo los deseos, sino utilizando esa atención que le he dado a la energía en la asistencia y apoyo de mi propia expresión.

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 902, Nuestra responsabilidad por una sana imaginación.

El día de ayer en la escuela, estábamos discutiendo un poco los análisis en los discursos visuales que como comunicadores visuales tenemos que crear básicamente en cualquier tipo de trabajo que hagamos, llámese carteles, video juegos, películas, es decir cualquier tipo de publicidad en prácticamente cualquier sentido.

Entre la discusión, surgió un punto que me llamó la atención cuando tocamos el punto de la "imaginación" dentro de la sociedad, y la habilidad que tenemos que tener como comunicadores para poder llegar al punto que hará que la gente de hecho "reaccione" en la forma que necesitamos para cumplir con los objetivos de una determinada campaña, etc.; el punto es que a colación de todo ésto, estábamos hablando sobre la importancia que tiene la imaginación dentro de la sociedad para poder alimentar ese ingenio que nos permite resolver problemas, resolver conflictos, crear cosas nuevas,etc.

También mencionamos lo mucho que la comunicación de masas depende de la alineación de la misma a un determinado universo o cosmogonía del cual nosotros (los comunicadores visuales) formamos parte y nos desprendemos para poder generar cosas que de hecho resulten interesantes y atractivas en nuestro determinado país, región, etc., pero que que tal vez no harán mucho sentido en otros países.

En ese momento, cruzó por mi mente la situación que se presentó con respecto a los Juicios de Núremberg, donde los ciudadanos alemanes fueron de igual forma juzgados porque a pesar de que la gente aseguraba que ellos no tenían idea de que la gente que estaba entrando a los campos de concentración estaba siendo masacrada, ellos tenían la responsabilidad de haberse "imaginado" lo que estaba ocurriendo, que tenían que haberse imaginado lo que ocurría cuando veían trenes repletos de personas llegar uno tras otro, pero nadie salía, y que una caldera estaba encendida de la cual se desprendía un olor repugnante.

La situación es que, con el avance de la tecnología, los métodos y técnicas para generar discursos visuales cada vez más fieles a los deseos de un determinado público en particular, pareciera que la imaginación es algo que cada vez más se empobrece dentro de nuestra sociedad, y aquí la cuestión es: ¿Si el comunicador visual tiene la capacidad de entender y generar los discursos visuales para efectos de realizar campañas publicitarias, carteles, video juegos, etc., no sería acaso también nuestra responsabilidad el generar discursos que de hecho fomenten una imaginación "sana", práctica y funcional dentro de la población? Es decir, si las personas que fueron juzgadas en Núremberg por no haberse "imaginado que había gente siendo masacrada en los campos de concentración" ¿Qué responsabilidad tenemos nosotros, que aniquilamos esa imaginación mediante las técnicas, métodos y tecnologías de los que actualmente nos valemos?

Cuando le mencioné ésto a la profesora, ella me respondió que "eso" que estaba mencionando, es lo que llamamos "manipulación de medios", y que la manipulación que nosotros ejercemos para vender o promocionar una determinada campaña o producto, en realidad no debería ni siquiera de existir, es decir tendría que estar como tal prohibido. Pregunté entonces por el fundamento que prohíbe dicha manipulación... no la hay. Hay algunos "requisitos" a los cuales deben sujetarse las campañas, pero no hay nada de hecho que reglamente nuestro punto de partida con respecto a dicha "ética" que tenemos que tener como comunicadores visuales....

Hace algún tiempo, escribí un blog que precisamente abordaba este punto, en el cuál expresaba que como tal los medios de comunicación no pueden manipular a nadie, que lo único que los comunicadores visuales hacemos es generar los discursos que ya existen dentro de la consciencia colectiva. Ok, pero ¿qué ocurre con nuestra responsabilidad por erradicar los discursos que de hecho existen dentro de la misma, los cuales promueven y fomentan hábitos no sólo de consumo inconmensurado, sino de igual forma, hábitos que de hecho aniquilan la imaginación y el razonamiento crítico...?

Compartiré más a medida que camine éste punto...

domingo, 13 de marzo de 2016

Mi Jornada hacia la Vida, Día 901, From Avoidance to Communication - Practical Self-Empowerment

What is at the root of contempt and cynicism? How does someone approach their own avoidant conditioning and vindictive mindset? How can creativity be used to process the self-conditioning that stems from child abuse without necessarily reinforcing it? 

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